Worn Clothes
by iamnotaxel
Summary: Castiel's existence is barely acknowledged at his high school. Then Dean arrives. HS AU COMPLETE
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.

A/N: I am English, all I know of the US school/college/university system is what I have learned from TV and films. Expect the next part in a couple of weeks, after all my uni assignments are finally over. Thanks for reading!

####

Castiel was almost a non-entity at his high school. His eldest brothers, twins, Michael and Lucifer had been the sports stars, both on the football team, both Kings of the corridors. Anna had been a cheerleader, pretty and popular, not to mention the only girl of the family. Gabriel, recently departed from the school, was funny. And sometimes, that's all you need.

Castiel was none of those things, he was quiet and studious, he talked to people in his classes and had no problem working with others on projects, but he was pretty much alone. No one bullied him, their memories of his brothers were enough to prevent that and really he was so completely overlooked that he doubted that any bullies actually knew he was there.

Castiel grabbed his history text book and headed to his class. He liked his history teacher, but she always looked at him with horrible pity in her eyes, because he was so often alone. Castiel didn't care about being alone. He was perfectly fine with his life the way it was. He wasn't even trying to convince himself, he really was completely fine.

He took his seat and flicked though his textbook, looking for the pages on the Black Death. Mrs Lombardozzi was just describing the route the Plague had taken across Europe when there was a knock at the door. The Headmistress entered followed by a tall boy in a leather jacket that was so worn it looked as though 60 other people had owned it before him.

Castiel looked at him for a moment, his black boots were scuffed and untidy, and his jeans seemed just too short, like he'd grown and hadn't bought a new pair, and were worn in some places with holes at the knee. He was wearing a long sleeve under his leather jacket, a pendant, or amulet hung around his neck on a length of leather. He had a strong jaw and a straight nose, thick soft-looking lips and light brown hair; his eyes were a gorgeous bright green. He was very good looking.

And the way he was standing, cocky and slightly aggressive, not to mention the smirk upon those soft lips, said that he knew just how attractive he was.

Castiel looked at the boy for another moment; he didn't think the boy was his type, though Castiel wasn't sure he could even have a type after only two kisses. But, Castiel had always imagined himself with someone quiet and caring, not someone with an attitude, or a smart mouth as he imagined this boy would have.

Mrs Lombardozzi finished her quiet conversation with the Head and, as the Headmistress left, turned to the boy and asked him to introduce himself.

The boy tucked his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, "I'm Dean Winchester." His voice was a deep, rumbling timbre that Castiel quite liked, despite the dismissive tone. "Me and my little brother Sammy've just moved here. We'll probably be here 'till the end of the year." He shrugged and looked at Mrs Lombardozzi.

"All right. Well… Welcome Dean." She quickly glanced around the class, her eyes landed on Castiel and the spare seat next to him and her face lit up with a soft pleased smile.

Castiel sighed to himself.

"Why don't you sit beside Castiel?" She pointed.

Castiel saw the boy raise an eyebrow and mouth _'Castiel?'_ before moving to take the seat.

Mrs Lombardozzi rifled in the cupboard beside her desk and handed Dean a text book. "Page 217." She said and continued with her lecture as if there had been no interruption.

The end of the class saw Dean standing and waiting for Castiel to pack his things away.

"You think you can show me where my next class is?" He asked, looking down at a piece of paper in his hand, his schedule. His voice was even deeper close up, though not like Castiel's, who had sounded like he had been eating gravel at breakfast for the past 18 years.

"Sure." Castiel stood and looked at the timetable Dean was holding out to him. "English is up the stairs. I'll take you there, if you want?"

Dean just looked at him for a very long moment.

"That… Would be good, thanks." He finally said.

Castiel led the way out of the classroom and Dean walked beside him down the corridor. All eyes turned in the direction of the new boy and Dean grinned and smirked, occasionally winking at the prettiest girls. Castiel, discreetly, rolled his eyes.

"So, what kind of name is Castiel?" Dean suddenly asked, halfway up the stairs. "Where does it come from?"

"It's the name of an Angel." Castiel replied, "A rather peripheral Angel actually. All my siblings are named after Angels."

Dean raised one eyebrow again, "Your parents religious?"

"Not really. My mother is a professor of Religion and History. She is particularly enamoured with the lore on Angels." Castiel replied. Many people in the school knew of his family's unusual Angel names.

"Lore?" Dean grinned to himself, tucking his head down and smiling at his shoes. He appeared less like a cocky cock when he smiled like that.

"What does your name mean?" Castiel asked, not particularly interested, but still being polite.

"Well… I don't think Dean means anything much. But, a Winchester is a rifle." Dean said. The smirk was back.

"It's also a county in England. It's less likely that you were named for a rifle and more likely that your ancestors came from that part of England, before they arrived in America." Castiel said, Dean looked surprised. "This is your English class." Castiel smiled and turned away to get to his own lesson, Biology, but he still heard Dean say goodbye over the noise of the bell.

"See you later, Cas."

Castiel froze. No one but his father and Gabriel called him Cas. It felt strange to be called that at school. Almost like a violation, somehow. He hadn't even asked permission or anything! Castiel frowned and rushed to get to Biology. Vowing to avoid Dean Winchester as much as possible.

Castiel might've decided to stay away from Dean, but he wasn't a total dick, so after Biology he walked past Dean's English class to make sure Dean didn't get lost on his way to Health. When he got there he found that Dean had discovered plenty of help in the form of several girls hanging off his arms. Including Penny Breakwater; one of the most attractive, and therefore most popular, girls in school.

Castiel shrugged and went to Geography.

#

"How was school, honey?" Castiel's mother, Kathy, asked. Putting a bowl of potatoes down in front of him.

"Good, I have a history essay on the consequences of the Black Death on English peasants in the 14th century for next Thursday. Oh, and a new boy started today." Castiel said, helping himself to chicken.

His father, Joe, and Gabriel spoke at the same time.

"In November?"

"Is he hot?"

"From what he said it appears as though his family moves around a lot." Castiel said, answering his father, "Yes, he is very attractive." Castiel said, answering Gabriel. "He seems very egotistical though."

Gabriel just smiled. Though all his other siblings were at college, Gabriel had decided to take a year off. He was currently working in one of their fathers restaurants. Gabriel wasn't good looking in the traditional sense, nor was he, in any meaning of the word, tall… But he was very charismatic, his tips were unbelievable.

Gabriel was not gay, even though he often claimed bisexuality Castiel had never seen any evidence of it, but Castiel was. When he was about 8 years old, the time when girls were still icky, but fun to tease, he and many members of his class were playing Chase. While the other boys were running after girls, intent on pulling their hair and pinching them, Castiel had been far more interested in pinching the other boys.

It seemed to Castiel that his family had always known that he was gay, before he did even, and for this Castiel was thankful. There had never been any awkward coming-out talks. Castiel had always been this way. It was who he was.

"What's his name?" Kathy asked, passing gravy around.

"Dean Winchester." Castiel replied, spooning string beans onto his plate.

There was silence for several moments as the family began to tuck into their food.

"You know it's important to remember that after the Black Death the population of England was severely depleted, Castiel." Kathy said.

Castiel nodded, "There was a shortage of labour and the peasants could demand higher wages."

#

For the next week or so, Castiel saw Dean occasionally in the corridors and in his History, Physics and Maths classes. They spoke a few words to each other occasionally but mostly, life continued as normal.

Castiel completed his Black Death essay and his other homework for Biology and Health and was trying to figure out if another extracurricular activity to take part in would make his college applications look better. It was a little late and Castiel already had helping out at homeless shelters, plenty of work experience and working behind the scenes at school productions. That was probably already enough. Castiel had so much more work to do just from regular classes and he'd be helping out in the senior production of Hairspray next semester anyway. He reasoned himself out of more work over his breakfast and hopped into the car with his mother.

He didn't usually get a ride with his mother, just because she left the house so early, but Castiel had a number of books to return to the library and he needed to take out more for his English assignment on Byron.

"Bye, honey!" His mother called and Castiel waved as she drove off to her job at the university.

He headed straight up to the library, handed in his previously borrowed books and strode into the English poetry section to hunt down the Byron books.

He moved into the next row, not finding the books he wanted, on the other side, two boys were sitting at a circular table. Castiel didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he could hear their conversation very clearly.

"You look terrible." The smaller boy said, Castiel could see him through a gap in the books. He had floppy brown hair and big hazel eyes, and was wearing a stripy green jumper.

Castiel realised with a quick glance that the boy he was sitting next to was Dean.

"Thanks a lot, Sammy." Dean grumbled, his voice sounded even lower than usual, and he did look very tired.

"Seriously Dean. You need to do more homework too, before they start trying to call the house." Sammy sounded worried and he brushed a hand through his hair. He and Dean didn't look very much alike at all.

"Look, I'll deal with that if it comes." Dean said, "I'm already going to school and working two jobs just to keep us afloat Sammy, when do I have time for homework?" Exasperation filtered through his usual brash tone and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Sorry." Sammy mumbled, leaning further over his work.

"Not your fault." Dean said, shuffling closer to wrap an arm around Sammy's shoulders and rub his knuckles over his brother's head to Sammy's annoyance.

"Dean!"

Castiel smiled, surprised to see such a different side to Dean appear around his brother – no sign of the cocky smirk, or the indifferent tone Castiel heard in classes. It was interesting.

Castiel was less surprised to hear of their apparent money worries. Much of Dean's clothing appeared to be slightly too small, or just the wrong side of worn to be fashionable. Sammy's clothing was in much better shape, though. His backpack and the winter coat hanging on the back of his chair looked brand new, clearly Dean had opted to spend the little money he did have on Sammy rather than himself.

Castiel finally found the books he was looking for and he took them off the shelf, piling them into his arms. He stepped out of the row and was heading towards an empty table to look them over and make sure they had the pertinent information, when Dean called his name.

"Hey, Cas!"

Castiel turned around, still annoyed that Dean always called him Cas, but perhaps a little less so than he would have been ten minutes ago when all he knew of Dean had been his swaggering school persona.

"Hello Dean." Castiel said.

"Why don't you come and sit here?" Dean offered, gesturing to the spare seat beside himself.

"Sure." Castiel shrugged as much as he could with an armful of books. It would be rude to say no, plus he was curious about this 'other Dean' he had never glimpsed before a few moments ago.

"This is THE Castiel?" Castiel thought he heard Sammy whisper, as he walked over to their table.

"You must be Sammy." Castiel said to the younger boy as he sat down.

Sammy scowled at Dean, "Just Sam." He said.

Dean grinned at his brother's annoyance and ruffled his hair. Dean looked even more exhausted close up. He had dark circles under his eyes and his skin looked pale, his lips dry. Their financial situation was obviously taking its toll on the senior.

As Castiel settled down to skim through the books, he saw Dean picking up a ragged paperback. Castiel tilted his head to read the title. 'Slaughterhouse 5' Vonnegut.

"You like Vonnegut?" Castiel asked, his brother Michael had also been a big fan.

"Of course, who doesn't?" Dean replied, as if he loved Vonnegut so much he couldn't imagine that other people might not.

Castiel smiled, "My elder brother likes him."

"You don't?" Dean asked, as if it wasn't possible.

"He's ok." Castiel shrugged, "I like Ray Bradbury better. But, they're very different writers I suppose." He said and went back to his Byron books.

He could felt Dean watching him for several moments before the boy went back to his reading.

After some minutes, Sam's pencil stopped moving across his page. "Will you check this, Dean?" He handed the paper to his brother.

Castiel caught a glimpse of algebra equations.

Maths.

Castiel hated Maths. It was his worst subject. He hated numbers, they were so rigid and unmoving. Two plus three would always equal five – it could never be anything different. Not like words, so many meanings, so many possibilities. Castiel was also slightly number dyslexic and often saw numbers the wrong way round or in the wrong order. Numbers and equations never seemed to stick in his memory, it was why he immediately wrote down the dates and times of appointments and double checked everything, just in case. He was barely scraping a B in Maths while he was achieving A's in practically all his other classes. He found it easy to learn just about everything else and he liked learning, he was lucky in that way, but for Maths homework, and whenever he had a test, he spent long hours on the phone to Lucifer whom he made explain everything his teacher had already 'taught' him only…Slower, much slower. He was also lucky he was the youngest and therefore everyone's automatic favourite.

His 'learning difficulty' was not deemed enough of a challenge for him to receive special treatment, he had simply been told that he would have to work a little harder.

Dean's warm green eyes flicked over the pages of mathematics. That was different too. Usually Dean's eyes during school hours were rather unresponsive to anything, lighting up occasionally at the sight of good looking girls, but otherwise remaining impassive. But, sitting, helping his brother in the library obviously did something for Dean that regular lessons did not.

"They all look good to me, except number 7. You haven't done the equals bit." Dean said, handing the work back.

Sam nodded and bent over the paper to correct his mistake.

"You're good at algebra?" Castiel asked, any help he could get he was grateful for.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, "Well… Freshman algebra sure."

"Dean's great at algebra," Sam piped up, "and physics and history and English lit, he just never applies himself."

"Yeah, thanks Sammy." Dean growled.

Castiel gave a small smile, so Dean was secretly smart too. What else was Dean hiding and why? Castiel knew he had to renege on his own promise to stay away from Dean Winchester, he was too interesting. And attractive.

#

It wasn't until two days later that he saw Dean again, at least for more than a quick glance in classes and corridors.

Castiel had been picked up from school by his father. Joe owned four restaurants, two auto shops and a couple of gas stations. On Thursdays Joe always went around his businesses to collect the accounting books for his accountants to look over and to maintain good contact with his many employees. Castiel almost always went with him. A couple of the restaurants were in the city and Castiel loved watching the densely packed buildings and people flash past the car window. Sometimes, if his father visited the city restaurants last, they would stay for dinner and if he was really lucky his father would take him to visit the many wonders of the city, art galleries, museums, shows.

But, the city was only half the reason Castiel went, the other half was for the people who worked for his father. He'd known several of them for most of his life. People like Bobby and Ellen who Castiel had known for as long as he could remember.

They'd already visited Ellen's restaurant, even though it was his fathers he always referred to it as Ellen's, the other restaurant close by and the gas stations and were pulling into Bobby's garage when he saw Dean.

Dean was wearing dark blue overalls which were unbuttoned down the front exposing his grey t-shirt and his long necklace, the sleeves were rolled to his elbows and the boots he wore every day to school were on his feet. He and Bobby were bent over the open hood of a silver BMW. This must have been one of Dean's two jobs.

Castiel got out of the car with his father.

"Bobby!" His father called. Joe was not American, he was English – from Leeds. Though he had been living in America for almost 30 years, he had never quite lost his accent.

Bobby's head quickly jerked around at the sound of his father's distinctive voice. This also meant that Dean turned too.

"Hey, Joey!" Bobby grinned.

Dean looked surprised to see Castiel standing across the yard from him, but still gave a small smile.

Bobby and Joe slapped each other on the shoulder.

"How've you been, Bobby? Everything OK 'round here?" Joe asked, glancing over at Dean. Clearly an employee he hadn't met before.

"I'm great. So's the shop." Bobby smiled and suddenly yanked Castiel into a hug. "You look good boy, you behaving in school? Workin' hard?"

Castiel nodded and allowed Bobby to take his chin in hand and turn his face from side to side, "You get more handsome every time I see you."

Castiel shook his head and laughed as his father said, "Just like his old man."

"What? The postman?" Bobby said.

Joe laughed, it was obvious to Castiel where Gabriel got his charm and charisma, though Gabriel's sense of fun often played out in prank form, Castiel suspected that so had his father's when he had been younger.

"Who's the young lad?" Joe asked, nodding towards Dean, who was looking a little awkward in the face of such familiarity.

"This is Dean Winchester." Bobby replied, moving back towards the teenager and leaning against the front bumper of the BMW. "He might be the best little mechanic I've ever hired."

"Really?" Joe looked Dean up and down.

For some reason this made Castiel's face burn.

"It's nice to meet you, sir." Dean said, his voice steady, once again there was no trace of his school persona, no arrogance or brashness tingeing his deep timbre.

He held out his hand and Joe reached out to shake it. Joe smiled, small, at the corner of his mouth. Castiel knew that this meant he was impressed with Dean's handshake.

"Sir? You can call me Joe, kid. Everybody does." Joe smiled. "And if Bobby says you're good, you must be."

"Thank you." Dean replied, there was a compliment in there somewhere.

Joe gave another smile to Dean and turned to Bobby, "Got the books ready for me?"

"Sure, in the office." Bobby said, leading the way into the building.

Joe followed after motioning for Castiel to wait there for him and throwing him a wink.

Castiel knew at that moment, that his father had remembered who Dean was from Castiel's mention of him at the dinner table almost two weeks ago and that Castiel had expressed an attraction for him. Castiel cursed his father's good memory.

"So… Hi." Dean said.

"Hello Dean." Castiel replied, Dean must've got this job the moment his family had arrived in town because he looked pretty settled with Bobby. Bobby was always so cautious with new employees at first, but he seemed to be rather taken with Dean's abilities already.

"Your Dad and Bobby seem pretty close." Dean said, shrugging. Like he wasn't sure what to say, he shifted on his feet and kept his eyes off Castiel's face. Castiel thought it seemed almost like Dean was... Angry somehow.

"Yeah. Bobby's been running this place since it opened." Castiel replied, tilting his head to catch Dean's eyes and smiling. The green was a little shuttered, but not in the same way as within the school corridors. Every time Castiel met Dean he met a different version of him.

"Regular customer then?" Dean asked, briefly returning Castiel's flash of teeth.

"No, my father owns this place." Castiel said, "And the other one across town, they're both called Milton's Auto." He explained.

"Oh." Dean's face had dropped and he looked away, scuffing his boots on the concrete floor.

Castiel bit his lip. Wanting, quite badly, to know what Dean was thinking. "You must've been fixing cars for a long time, if you're as good as Bobby says you are."

"Yeah, my Dad's been teaching me since I was a kid." Dean said, glancing over his shoulder at the engine of the BMW. "I grew up… er, fixing cars." He added, though it didn't seem like that was what he had meant to say.

"How's Sam?" Castiel asked, he had seen Dean's younger brother between classes once or twice too.

"Good." Dean smiled, it seemed he had a set of smiles reserved solely for his brother. It was just like the ones he had revealed in the library. "Growing too fast. I'm worried he's going to overtake me one day soon." He chuckled.

Castiel nodded, "My brother worried about that too. And I did." He beamed, "But, Gabriel's short anyway."

"Gabriel and Castiel." Dean said, "You do have Angel names. Is this the same brother that likes Vonnegut?" He asked. Castiel was surprised Dean had remembered, he seemed to have a lot on his mind; with Sam, school and work, though he looked a little better than he had in the library. Like he'd managed to somehow get a good night's sleep.

"No. That's Michael." Castiel replied, "He has a twin called Lucifer, they're both at college and so is my sister, Anael. We call her Anna."

"Lucifer?" Dean said, his eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. "Your mother named one of her children after the Devil?"

"Yeah. She's weird." Castiel replied. "Though he was an Archangel before he fell. She thought it would be fitting, as they're twins and would probably fight all the time. He calls himself Luke at college."

Dean had opened his mouth to say something else, but his father and Bobby reappeared.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow then." Joe said.

"Yep, give my love to Kathy." Bobby replied.

"Will do. C'mon, kid." Joe wrapped an around Castiel's neck and dragged him back to the car.

"Bye, Dean." Castiel managed to squeeze out as he was pulled away. He grabbed his father's arm and a small tussle ensued, but Castiel still managed to hear Dean call a goodbye.

"See you later, Cas."

#

Castiel knew his father was going to bring up Dean in conversation at some point, but it wasn't until they were sitting in Crowley's restaurant in the city that he finally said something.

"So, that was Dean?" Joe smiled, eyes flicking over the menu. "He's a good looking lad."

"Dad." Castiel said. The last thing he wanted was to do was talk about this with his father, no matter how long he had known that Castiel was gay.

"You boys ready to order?" Crowley appeared at the side of their table.

Castiel could see his father's cheek tic in annoyance. Joe hated Crowley, he was smug and irritating, but restaurant profits had almost trebled since Crowley had been in charge. Joe could employ Crowley, but he didn't have to like him.

"Just bring us two specials and the house wine." Joe said, dismissing Crowley quickly. "Bloody Cockney." He mumbled.

Castiel chuckled.

"Bobby says Dean's a hard worker and bloody good at his job." Joe smiled, Castiel sighed. "He suggested I give the boy a raise."

"Dean works two jobs." Castiel said, "He seems to be the primary carer for his little brother."

"He does?" Joe nodded at the waiter bringing their wine and motioned for him to pour into both his own glass and Castiel's. "Bobby said something along those lines too." He took a sip of his wine. "Do you like him? I saw you talking to him."

"I don't know." Castiel said, honestly. "I don't really know him very well. Every time I talk to him it's almost like I'm talking to a different Dean. The most genuine I've seen him was when he was with his brother, but he's… Complicated." He took a drink of his wine and moved his arm aside to allow the waiter to put down his plate of food. It smelled delicious.

Joe nodded and seemed to think for a moment as he twirled pasta around his fork, "You said you believed he moved around a lot. Perhaps he finds it difficult to open up to people he knows he's going to have to leave after a few months… A few weeks even."

Castiel took in his words. Dean had said that he and Sam were probably going to stay until the end of the school year; perhaps something was tying them down more thoroughly than it had before.

"That seems likely." Castiel said. He thought that it wouldn't hurt for him to perhaps seek Dean out more often. He would like to get to know him a little better. And if he was going to be here until the end of the year that was OK, because Castiel would be going to college next year anyway.

"So, how's school, kiddo?" Joe asked.

"Good. I'm still having problems with algebra." Castiel said, sick to death of Maths.

#

Castiel made of note of the date his chemistry project had to be in and tucked his things into his bag, heading for lunch.

He grabbed a turkey sandwich, a big cookie and a bottle of water before going outside to eat. It was a little cold, but he'd seen Dean go outside at lunchtime, never buying anything from the cafeteria.

Castiel looked around the courtyard, before spotting Dean sitting on the wall in front of the basketball courts. A couple of students were playing one-on-one in their winter coats, but Dean had his back to them.

As Castiel got closer, Dean looked up, giving a small smile. It seemed genuine, surprised.

"Hey, Cas." He said.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel replied, sitting on the wall beside Dean. "How are you?"

"Peachy." Dean said, with a cocky smirk, a front. He looked tired though, Castiel thought. Not exhausted as the library almost a week ago, but still very tired. As though he was trying to get used to the constant strain he was putting himself under.

Castiel opened his sandwiches. "My father is thinking of giving you a raise. I overheard you in the library, though I didn't mean to, maybe you could quit your second job. He said you could work casual at one of his restaurants, whenever you need extra money." He took a bite. The turkey was dry.

"What?" Dean turned to look at Castiel.

"Only if you wanted." Castiel said.

Dean suddenly stood up. "What? I don't need your fucking charity, Cas!" His face was red, his eyes hard. "I don't want your help or your pity."

"What?" Castiel stood up and reached for Dean's arm. "Dean, no –"

"Fuck you." Dean pulled out of Castiel's reach and stormed back into the school building, banging the door as he went.

Castiel was confused.

#

Castiel was standing outside the detention classroom.

Dean had received a detention in Physics after failing to hand in another piece of homework. Dean had looked very unhappy about it as it was probably going to make him late for work and though Castiel didn't want to make him even more late he had to know why Dean had been so angry with him at lunchtime.

"What do you want?" Dean asked, shouldering past Castiel to walk down the hallway.

"I want to know why you're angry at me." Castiel said, quickly catching up to Dean's long strides.

"I told you I don't want charity." Dean answered, attempting to quicken his pace.

Castiel reached out and grabbed his leather-clad arm, pulling Dean to a stop with deceptive strength.

"I don't understand." He said. "I'm not being charitable."

"Your fucking raise? The extra work from your dad? Been telling him all about how you feel so sorry for me, huh?" Dean said, pushing his face closer to Castiel's. From so close Castiel could see how not angry Dean was. Not angry… Upset, embarrassed.

"No. Bobby suggested the raise to him; he told my father how hard you work, how good at your job you are, he's the one that told my father how tired you seem some days, how he thinks you have another job. My father only told me to ask you about the restaurant because I'd see you at school before Bobby saw you at work. Dick." Castiel said. "I don't feel sorry for you Dean. Why would I?"

Dean blinked and stepped back. "Oh." He dropped his head to look down at his boots. "Sorry."

Castiel shrugged. "Doesn't matter." He took a few steps around Dean and headed out of the school.

"See you later, Cas." Dean called.

Castiel smiled.

#

"OK, that makes sense." Castiel filled in the last of his Maths homework and switched the phone to his other hand, leaning back in his desk chair. "Thanks Lucifer."

"No problem, little bro." Lucifer replied.

"Are you and Michael coming home for Thanksgiving?" Castiel asked, he wanted them to come home, he hadn't seen them in some time. Anna often came for Sunday dinner and to do her laundry, but Lucifer and Michael almost never did. He knew it upset their mother.

"I dunno." Lucifer said. Castiel could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Please? I miss you." Castiel said. "So does mom." He heard Lucifer snort in derision. "Dad does too. Gabriel… Not so much."

Lucifer laughed. "We'll see… OK?"

"OK." Castiel smiled, it was almost as good as a yes.

"Castiel! Dinner!"

"I have to go." Castiel said.

"All right. Talk to you next time you have Maths homework." Lucifer laughed.

"Bye." Castiel carried the phone downstairs with him and slipped it back into the cradle before sitting down at his place at the table.

It was only himself and his parents for dinner; Gabriel was working. Castiel immediately began lining up sausages carefully on his plate.

"Your friend took my advice. I went over to Bobby's earlier." His father said, scooping large spoonful's of mash. "He accepted the raise and decided to quit his second job, but he'll be doing weekend shifts at Bellevue." Bellevue was the restaurant Gabriel worked at and the one closest to their home. Just around the corner really.

"That's good. He seemed upset earlier when I suggested it." Castiel said.

"Yeah, the lad's got his pride Cas. It seems to me like he wants to prove he doesn't need help." Joe took a bite of a sausage, "I don't know why though."

Castiel thought about that and the embarrassment he had seen in Dean's eyes. It seemed likely that his father was right.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Kathy scolded. "Castiel, have you thought about visiting any university open days yet?"

"Not yet." Castiel said, "I was thinking maybe after Christmas."

#

It was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break. Castiel was sitting in the library, wanting to finish his work before the holiday so he wouldn't be worried about it while sitting at the dinner table.

Lucifer and Michael were coming home that evening and Anna had already arrived. It made Castiel smile. It would be the first time the whole family had been together in months. He bent closer to his History book - just this last essay to finish.

Castiel was so absorbed in his work he got quite a shock when someone threw themselves into the seat beside him.

"I am fucking sick of this shit!" Dean.

"Shhh." Castiel replied. "This is a library." He and Dean had been talking a little more, but it was mostly about little, inconsequential things and Dean's persona could fluctuate wildly from one day to the next. As if he wasn't sure how to behave around Castiel anymore. As if he didn't know whether to trust Castiel or not.

"I hate the way they look at me." Dean said.

It had been almost a month since Dean had transferred and his initial popularity had decreased dramatically. He was unable to go to the parties he was invited to, to the nights at the movies, on dates with the pretty girls. The other students had noticed that he never ate with them because he didn't have money for lunch. And he had either grown slightly, or he hadn't bought new clothes in a good long while because his jeans seemed to be getting shorter; they had realised that Dean's clothes were not fashionably untidy, they were just old.

Dean was not what they had expected and, more often than not, he was left alone. Castiel suspected that this was the reason why Dean had taken to talking more to him - because the others had given him the cold shoulder.

"How's that?" Castiel asked.

"Like they feel sorry for me." Dean said, huffing out a sigh and leaning his elbows on the table.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Castiel said, thumbing through his European history textbook, looking for the pages about the English Civil War. "It's the teachers mostly."

"What? Why would they look at you like that?" Dean asked, turning to look at Castiel with an expression of disbelief.

"Because I have no friends." Castiel answered, finding the right pages and beginning to read.

"What?" Dean sounded surprised.

"I'm always alone, Dean. Haven't you noticed?" Castiel frowned, the information in this book was vastly different to the last book. He sighed.

"Well… I just thought…" Dean sounded lost.

"I don't know why no one seems to like me. Maybe they know I'm gay… Or, they think I'm too weird or something. A nerd." Castiel shrugged and opened a third book, putting the other aside for a moment.

Dean was silent for a long minute. Castiel looked at him.

"You're gay?" He asked.

"Yeah." Castiel nodded.

Dean didn't seem to take this too badly. At least he didn't seem disgusted, or anything.

"Oh." He said. "I wouldn't have thought so."

"Why? Because I'm not a screaming queen?" Castiel asked.

Dean stuttered for a moment, "No, I just…"

Castiel continued with his essay and Dean sat quietly for a long while. Their lunch hour continued ticking by.

"My Mom died in a fire when I was four." Dean suddenly said.

Castiel looked at him. Dean was staring down at the table, his hands laid out in front of him. He seemed tired, not just physically, and serious. Castiel had never seen this Dean before. It felt real.

"Sammy was just a baby. I carried him out of the house." Dean sighed. "Our Dad was never the same after. We moved around a lot. He couldn't stay in the house where Mom had died, but he couldn't stay anywhere else either." He swallowed and risked a glance at Castiel, who was listening carefully. "He kept saying he was looking for her killer, but it was an electrical fire, completely accidental. Eventually I said that we couldn't keep moving Sammy. He was starting high school and it wasn't fair. The next town we came to was this one. Dad took off almost as soon as we got here. I don't know where he is, or even if he's alive. He wasn't much use anyway. I only need to pretend he's still here until my birthday, it's only a couple of months, then I can apply to be Sammy's legal guardian and it'll be easier."

"I see." Castiel said.

"You're not going to tell anyone are you? I can't lose him, Cas. I can't." Dean's green eyes were suddenly dark with worry and anguish.

"Of course not." Castiel replied. "What you're doing is difficult. If I can help, or my family, you only have to ask, Dean."

Dean looked away, his ears turning red, his forehead pulling into a frown.

"I don't feel sorry for you, Dean." Castiel said, reading Dean's expression from the side. "I can't empathise with you; I have never experienced anything like that. My mother has never been taken from me, my father has never abandoned me and I don't have to be scared every day that the one person I have left might be taken from me." Dean turned back to him with wide eyes. "But, that doesn't mean I don't want to help you. I feel bad that you have been plunged into this situation, but I am not offering you help out of pity; I'm doing it because I like you. Because you work so hard and I can see that it's taking its toll on you." He turned back to his essay. "I would like us to be friends… If you want." He tried to hide his burning cheeks by leaning closer to his books.

"Thanks." Dean said, after a moment. "I think I'd like that too."

The bell rang, Dean waited for Castiel to pack his things away and they walked out of the library together.

"Bye, Dean." Castiel said, heading left.

"See you later, Cas." Dean replied, heading right.

Castiel grinned all the way to Health. No one noticed.

#

"So what's this I hear about a boy you like?" Michael smirked in the doorway to Castiel's room.

"You shouldn't listen to Gabriel." Castiel said.

Thanksgiving dinner had been enjoyable, if slightly strained. The tension was mostly centred around the twins and Kathy, Lucifer more so than Michael. Castiel wasn't sure of the reason, but he suspected it was something to do with football and the fact that his mother felt Lucifer was spending too much time on sport and neglecting his 'serious' studies. Castiel had heard several arguments to that effect over the years, even during high school. Michael seemed to be able to shrug it off far more easily than his twin.

"I don't know… Dad seemed to agree." Michael said, entering the room and throwing himself into the chair at Castiel's desk that had once belonged to Lucifer.

Castiel sighed.

"What's his name?" Michael asked.

"What's the name of your girlfriend?" Castiel countered. He had heard from Lucifer that Michael had a girlfriend, but Michael had never mentioned her in front of the rest of the family.

"Melissa. She's really nice. I might take a deep breath and bring her here for New Year." Michael said, smiling. The expression on his handsome face and in his dark brown eyes asked for acceptance from his youngest brother.

"I'd like to meet her." Castiel said.

Michael's smile widened. "So… This boy."

"His name's Dean." Castiel gave in. "He's abnormally handsome."

Michael laughed. "Dad said he looks after his little brother."

"Yeah, he's having a bit of a hard time." Castiel said. "But, he doesn't complain. He's my friend."

Michael nodded knowingly. "Is that all?" He asked.

"I believe that is all it will ever be." Castiel said. He was disappointed to know this, he felt that he and Dean were close since Dean had told him about his family. He felt like Dean trusted and liked him. He liked Dean too, much more than he had realised until just a few days ago.

It wasn't just Dean's abnormal handsomeness. It was Dean himself too, though he was still somewhat of a mystery to Castiel, he knew how hard Dean worked, how much he loved his brother, how he was managing to hold everything together despite the immense pressure on his shoulders. He was obviously someone who felt things deeply, he seemed emotional under his cold cocky persona, someone who was used to giving, to being the one his brother, and probably his father, could rely on. Castiel would've liked to have been that person for Dean.

Castiel had never really been an emotional teenager, he had been asked on several occasions in middle school if he was secretly a robot-spy working for the government, but that did not mean he didn't feel things. Castiel was used to logical thinking and categorising thoughts into boxes in his mind. He believed this was due both his mother's and his father's influence. His father liked to keep home and business separate, most of the time, and his mother's office was so incredibly organised, colour coded and tagged, that Castiel never had to ask her where anything was. She was the same about laundry. But, he felt just as deeply as anybody else. His family knew it. He wanted Dean to know it.

"That doesn't mean you can't give it a try." Michael said. "Take a risk. Sometimes it works out." He got up to give Castiel a brief hug, Castiel felt small against him.

"Maybe." Castiel said. The problem was… He didn't know how. Years of not interacting with his peers, except on the most basic level, had stunted his social skills somewhat. He wondered if it was possible for him to be a friend, or anything more, to Dean, since he didn't know what that meant, what he had to do.

"Lucifer and I are leaving soon." Michael said, heading for the door.

"I'll be down in a minute." Castiel replied.

He sat in his room for a few moments more, wondering what Dean and Sam had done for Thanksgiving, then he got up and headed downstairs. Before he had even got to the stairs though he noticed that his father's office door was open. His father was sitting at his desk, looking through some accounting books.

"How're we doing?" Castiel asked, moving to stand at his father's side.

Joe reached out and wrapped an arm around his son's waist. "Not bad… Don't tell Gabriel, but I'm glad he's held off on university for a while. I'm not sure we could've handled four sets of tuition fees this year."

Lucifer and Michael would be graduating college as Castiel was graduating school. His father had told him on many occasions how glad he was about this. Though Castiel was still looking at a few possible scholarships, to ease the burden a little on his parents' finances.

Joe squeezed Castiel's waist, "C'mon, I think your brothers are leaving."

#

Castiel handed in his English paper and hiked his bag up a little higher on his shoulder. He was thinking about his Maths homework when he was accosted by Dean in the corridor.

"Hey, Cas."

Castiel jerked in surprise. "You scared me half to death!"

"Sorry." Dean laughed. He'd been following his new work schedule for a week now and he looked much better for it. Not so tired, not so drawn. "Bobby's insisted I take a few hours off today, you wanna do something with me?"

"Sure." Castiel thought about he'd like to do for a moment. "You want to go to the park and feed the ducks with me?"

Dean blinked at him for several long seconds, "It's the 3rd of December, Cas."

"So?" Castiel shrugged.

Dean smiled, one of the soft smiles Castiel had thought he reserved only for Sam. "Sure, Cas. Why not?"

It was decided that they would go to Castiel's house first to pick up some bread and drop their bags off, before going to the park that was only a few minutes away from the house.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Castiel asked as he shoved bread crusts and stale slices into a bag. His mother only ate granary bread, Castiel and his father ate white bread and Gabriel would only eat brown, so there were plenty of spare ends – the mallards would feast upon stale bread of many kinds.

"No thanks." Dean answered. Castiel had begun making his own sandwiches to take into school for lunch. Dean would not accept Castiel buying a lunch for him, but he was perfectly happy to share a lunch Castiel had made himself. Castiel didn't really understand the difference, but it clearly meant something to Dean so he never said anything about it. He enjoyed sharing anything with Dean.

They walked back into the hallway and Castiel put the bread down on the hall table before opening the coat cupboard and picking up his gloves and scarf. He turned back to Dean.

"You'll be cold." He said.

Dean was wearing his usual torn jeans, boots, and his leather jacket, but he only had a thin navy blue t-shirt on underneath it.

"I'll be fine." Dean said, reaching down to zip up his jacket as if to prove that he would be fine.

"Come upstairs." Castiel said, leading the way.

Dean paused in the hallway for a moment, looking at Castiel who was halfway up the stairs.

Castiel turned back, "Come on."

Dean shook his head and followed, Castiel wasn't sure what that meant, but he walked to the end of the landing and reached up to pull open the hatch to the attic. The ladders landed on the carpeted floor with a thump and Castiel beckoned Dean to follow him up.

He flicked on the light.

"Cas, why are we up here?" Dean asked, obviously perplexed. His eyes flicked around to old piles of magazines and books, boxes labelled 'baby things' and 'Mom's stuff', fishing gear and old football equipment.

"When they went to college Lucifer and Michael left some of their clothes behind. They kept saying they would come and get them, but they never did." Castiel said, pulling out a couple of bin bags with yellow ribbons tying them up. In his mother's family system, yellow denoted the twins. "I doubt they'd even fit into this stuff anymore. But, I think you might. You have the same sort of build as they did at our age."

Castiel pulled the ribbon off the first bag and rooted through it, it appeared to be Michael's bag. Michael favoured colours while Lucifer wore an awful lot of black. He pulled out a dark green sweater. "Here." He tossed it to Dean. "Try it."

Dean looked vastly uncomfortable, but he removed his jacket anyway. Castiel watched carefully. Dean was well built for his age, strong arms and a wide, muscular chest. Castiel had a flat belly, but he didn't have muscles, not like Dean. Castiel appreciated the view.

Dean pulled the jumper over his head and made sure his pendant was on the outside of his clothes, resting on his chest. He held his arms out as if to ask how he looked.

"It fits well." Castiel said with a smile. "I bet their jeans would fit you too." He dug through the clothes, pulling a pair out and holding them up. Trying to imagine Dean inside them, though the thought of him out of them was just as appealing.

Castiel hoped that the poor light in the attic hid his blush.

"You should take these." Castiel said, folding the jeans back into the bag once he'd decided that they probably would fit Dean. "Lucifer's stuff too." He yanked the other bag to sit next to the first.

"Cas…" Dean looked uncomfortable, probably thinking of it as charity.

"Come on Dean, the clothes want to be worn." Castiel smiled. "Why won't you give them what they want?"

Dean chuckled, but still looked troubled.

"It's not charity, Dean. If you don't take them they'll just sit up here going to waste." Castiel picked up the bags and handed one to Dean. "Have them." He insisted.

Dean sighed. "All right." He groused, descending the ladder onto the landing.

"We can leave them in the hallway until we get back from the park." Castiel said, following. He shoved the ladders back up and closed the hatch.

"OK. Which one's your room?" Dean asked, glancing at the closed doors.

"This one." Castiel said. He opened the second door on the left and stepped to one side, motioning for Dean to enter.

Dean was the first non-family member to enter the room in over five years. Castiel was inexplicably nervous. As if he wanted Dean to like his room, because that would mean that Dean liked him.

Dean looked around at the light blue walls, a few posters were tacked up here and there – a movie poster of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a blown up photograph of James Dean, the New York skyline unrolled across the top of one wall. He glanced at the desk where Castiel's laptop was sitting, it used to be Michael's and even though it was slow and started making a buzzing noise after an hour or so, it still worked. It was covered in Michael's old stickers, a Coca-Cola sticker, a Pepsi one, a 'The Hawks' sticker – the high school football team. The desk, that used to belong to his father, was also cluttered with books and magazines. Castiel had several shelves in his room, all piled with books and some DVD's. Castiel's mind was organised, but his room… Less so. There was a small pile of notepads and magazines next to his bed. Anna's old dresser, complete with pink handles, was fairly neat and tidy, and his double bed was covered with white sheets. He used to share a room with Gabriel until Michael and Lucifer had gone to college, so it always felt a little empty, like there wasn't enough in it. Castiel had insisted on a larger bed to compensate. Though he was thankful that he hadn't had to worry about Gabriel dipping his fingers into a glass of water at night for the last few years, although he had attempted to do so at Thanksgiving when they had been forced to share while the whole family was home.

"It's nice." Dean said, vaguely. He sat down on Castiel's bed.

Castiel moved to sit next to him. "Are you OK?" He asked.

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "My room in our house before… The walls were the same colour as this." He said.

Castiel leaned his shoulder against Dean's, feeling the warmth of Dean seeping through the green jumper and the leather jacket that Dean had taken and made his own. They were silent for long minutes.

Castiel wondered what Dean's room looked like. What his home looked like. He suspected Sam's room probably looked a lot better than Dean's. Dean took the best care of his brother that he could.

"Did you pick out that dresser?" Dean suddenly asked, humour in his voice.

"It was Anna's." Castiel replied, smiling. "Most things in this room are hand-me-downs."

"They are?" Dean said.

"Sure. The only reason I'm not wearing my brother's clothes is because they're either too big or too small for me." Castiel shrugged.

"Too small?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Gabriel's a short shit." Castiel laughed.

Dean grinned, watching Castiel closely, his eyes bright… Happy.

"Come on." Castiel said, after a moment. "Those ducks won't hang around forever you know."

Dean nodded and followed Castiel out of the room and down the stairs.

They left the bags of clothes beside their book bags and Castiel looked at Dean for a moment before once more pulling open the coat cupboard door.

He stepped inside and re-emerged with another scarf. He stood in front of Dean and reached up, wrapping the stripy wool around Dean's neck. It wasn't until he glanced up at Dean's face that he realised how close they were. Dean's eyes were dark, there were little gold flecks around his irises, they flicked from Castiel's bright blues, to his lips.

Castiel didn't dare breathe as Dean leaned in closer.

"Cas!"

Castiel and Dean jumped apart as Gabriel threw open the front door and swaggered in.

A horrible gleam came into Gabriel's eyes as he took in the stances of Castiel and Dean, the guilty looks on their faces.

"You must be Dean." Gabriel said, he didn't work weekends very often and had yet to meet Dean. "Cas is right, you are very handsome." He smirked.

Castiel reddened. "Gabriel." He said, warningly.

"Y'know, my brother is completely ho-" Gabriel began, grinning.

"Gabriel! You fuck!" Castiel interrupted, taking a step towards his brother and giving him a hefty shove.

To his credit, Gabriel only stumbled a little. Then he was laughing. "Wow. You've got it bad." He gave Dean a sarcastic wave and disappeared around the hall. "See you later, lovebirds!" He called.

Castiel turned back to look at Dean, worried about what he might see. But, Dean was biting his bottom lip, clearly trying not to laugh.

"Don't laugh." Castiel said. "You'll only encourage him." He picked up the bag of bread and his own scarf and gloves and led the way out of the house.

Dean caught up with him and walked beside him. They stepped in silence for a few moments.

"So…" Dean finally said. "You think I'm handsome?" He smirked, but it wasn't the cocky smirk from school, his eyes were bright, teasing.

Castiel felt his face burn. "Maybe." He said.

Dean grinned, wide, and bumped his shoulder into Castiel's.

#

Castiel felt different.

He had been getting to know Dean even more over the past couple of weeks. He knew lots of Dean's favourite things and food preferences – Led Zeppelin, blue, Vonnegut (of course), District 9, Family Guy, Double Bacon Cheeseburgers, Dr Pepper, Apple Pie. He had said that the pie was the most important of these favourite things. Dean's dream car was 1967 Chevy Impala, he'd seen one once when he was twelve years old in Missouri somewhere and instantly fallen in love. His want for the future didn't extend to himself, only to Sam. He was going to save as much as he could and get Sam into a decent college after high school.

It was odd. The more time he spent with Dean the less… Fine, he felt. He wasn't just fine anymore, not just OK… It was more than that.

In return Castiel had informed Dean of many of his own preferences; Damien Rice, forest green, H.G. Wells, Lord of the Rings or Pulp Fiction, The Sopranos, Sweet and Sour chicken, Cherry Coke, Key Lime Pie. Castiel wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to do with his life, or what his dream car was. He liked Michael's car, though he wasn't sure what kind it was.

It was nice. More than nice.

#

Castiel closed his Poetry book, finally finishing his write up on sonnets. It was a Saturday. Less than a week until the Christmas holidays began. Castiel was more excited than he usually was at Christmas and he couldn't deny that it was because of Dean.

Dean didn't have an awful lot of time after school and at weekends, but they had managed to find time to eat ice cream and walk along the pier at the shore together, despite the cold weather. Castiel liked being with Dean, every conversation somehow felt like subtle flirting and Dean touched him a lot, a hand lingering on his arm, fingers brushing as they walked together and once Dean had dropped his hand onto Castiel's knee under the table in the library and left it there until the bell had rung. The problem was that Castiel did not know how to react to any of this, to the flirting, or the touching. What was he meant to do? It was all very confusing.

Castiel heard a knock at the front door and he covered his mouth as he yawned.

A moment later Gabriel was yelling up the stairs at him, "Cas! Your boyfriend's here! He brought some squirt with him!"

"Hey!" He heard Sam's voice pipe up.

Castiel launched himself out of his chair. He was halfway down the stairs when he heard more voices arriving in the hallway.

"You must be Dean Winchester." It was Lucifer's deep silky voice. That meant Michael was home too.

"Yeah." He heard Dean reply. "Are you the Devil?"

Castiel got to the bottom of the stairs to see Lucifer standing very close to Dean. He and Michael were a few inches taller than Dean.

"What did you just say?" Lucifer asked his voice low.

"Lucifer." Michael said. He took hold of his brothers' arm and pulled him away from Dean. "Relax."

Lucifer snorted in derision and walked into the house proper.

"Ignore him." Michael said, waving a hand in the direction Lucifer had disappeared.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel said, coming to stand by his eldest brother.

"Hey, little brother." Michael wrapped an arm around him and squeezed Castiel into his side.

"This is my brother Michael." Castiel's voice was muffled against Michael's coat.

"Hey Cas." Dean smiled. "You wanna come see a movie with us?"

"Sure." Castiel grinned back, he opened the coat cupboard to get his shoes and winter coat, it had been a snowing a little earlier. "What's wrong with Lucifer?"

"Girl trouble, he's been bitching at me for days." Michael groaned. "And who's this?" His tone brightened.

"My little brother Sammy." Dean said, followed quickly by:

"It's just Sam."

Castiel pulled on his shoes and coat and wrapped a stripy blue scarf around his neck. Michael was smirking when he re-emerged from the cupboard.

He had the same horrible gleam in his eye that Gabriel often had. What was wrong with his family?

"Dean… I think little Castiel was right about you." Michael stroked his chin and looked Dean up and down. "You are abnormally handsome."

Castiel choked. "We're leaving now!" He shoved Dean and Sam none too gently out of the door.

"Bye, Castiel! Don't be out late!" Michael called.

Castiel groaned.

"Did you really say that about Dean?" Sam asked in disbelief.

Dean was grinning as he walked down the street between them.

"I may have." Castiel glanced at Dean. "Clearly I should never say anything to my family ever again."

Dean laughed.

"Really? About Dean?" Sam repeated, obviously unable to believe anyone could find his annoying older brother attractive.

"Yes! Why wouldn't he?" Dean gave a smack to the back of Sam's head.

Sam chattered away about school as they walked; the English paper he had on Animal Farm, the American Civil War, the cool experiments in Chemistry. Castiel didn't know how the boy could keep talking, minute upon minute, without taking a breath.

"I think he runs on solar energy." Dean whispered.

Castiel grinned. "But, it's snowing."

"What are you whispering about?" Sam asked, squinting at them in suspicion.

"Robert E. Lee." Castiel replied.

"Yeah, right." Sam snorted. "Anyway.."

Castiel rubbed his hands together. In his haste to get out of the house and away from his strange siblings, he hadn't picked up his gloves.

"You cold?" Dean asked. Cutting off Sam's explanation about capitalist pigs.

"I forgot my gloves." Castiel said, blowing warm air onto his hands.

"Here." Dean took hold of Castiel's hands and rubbed them between his own, raising them to his lips to warm them.

"Oh, god." Sam moaned. "Is that necessary?"

"Shut up, bitch."

"Jerk."

Dean shook his head and took one of Castiel's hands tucking it into the pocket of the thick denim jacket he was wearing. He laced their fingers together where no one could see.

Castiel smiled and shoved his other hand into the pocket of his own coat.

"What movie are we going to see?" Castiel asked.

"I don't even what's on." Dean said, he turned to look at Sam.

"Er…" Sam said as he thought.

The snow fell more heavily around them.

#

Eventually they settled on some action flick that wasn't as bad as Castiel thought it was going to be.

Plus, half way through, Dean dropped his hand to Castiel's knee. Eventually, after much deliberation, Castiel laid his own hand over Dean's. Dean flipped his hand over, palm up, and wrapped their fingers around each other.

Castiel could see Dean's smile in profile, in the light of the on screen explosions.

#

Castiel shoved his school things into his bag for the last time that year. When he returned to the school it would be a new year, but he'd probably have even more work.

Dean was waiting for him outside the classroom. He was wearing the scarf Castiel had wrapped around his neck weeks ago.

"Hey, Cas." Dean smiled.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel replied. "I thought you had work today?"

"I do." Dean said. "But, I don't tomorrow afternoon." He walked with Castiel out of the school building. "Do you… Do you wanna come over to my place tomorrow?" He tugged at the scarf, unable to rub the back of his neck - he was nervous.

Castiel was excited, he hadn't been to Dean's house yet. "I'd like that." He smiled.

"Cool. I'll come over to yours tomorrow and then we can go over to mine later?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded and at the school gates Dean and Castiel turned in opposite directions.

Dean grabbed Castiel's fingers and gave a brief squeeze, "See you later, Cas."

#

"It… It's not much." Dean said.

Castiel looked at the house. It was small, one storey. It had been painted a funny grey colour a long time ago and the paint was peeling. The front porch was sagging and the grass in the yard was so long that it was sticking up through the snow, even though it had been falling pretty thick for the last week or so.

"I haven't had time to do the outside. I mean it's cold and everything." Dean said. "Nothing's actually falling down and the roof doesn't leak or anything, but I'll fix up a little more during the summer." He swallowed and looked nervously at Castiel.

"You're staying for the summer?" Castiel asked.

Dean blinked. "Yeah. We're pretty settled here." He smiled.

Castiel grinned back. "Can we go inside? It's freezing."

"Sure." Dean took Castiel's hand and pulled him up the porch steps and into the house.

"The steps look new." Castiel observed as Dean took his scarf and coat and hung it up on a rack just inside the front door.

"I had to fix them when we first got here. Sammy put his foot right through them." Dean said, removing his own outer clothes.

Castiel gave a chuckle and took a couple of steps into the house proper. There was a short hallway and at the end was a small kitchen, a square Formica table sat in the room, two mismatched chairs were tucked under it. The living room was equally as small as the kitchen and was only separated from it by half a wall. The living room contained only a sofa and a TV that was perched on top of an upside down tea chest. All the fixtures and furniture were dated, old fashioned, but everything was neat and tidy. The walls all looked like they had just had a fresh coat of matt white paint applied recently and the windows were large, making the room bright, inviting. Though it was sparse, it felt like a home. A good home. Castiel could hardly believe that two teenage boys lived there.

"It's tidy." Castiel said. He walked into the kitchen and ran his fingers over the worn counter top.

"I… I er… I cleaned up a little this morning." Dean rubbed the back of his neck. Castiel smiled. "Do you want a drink of something?"

"Orange juice. If you have it." Castiel said.

Dean nodded and pulled out a glass and the OJ from the fridge and poured.

"Do you do the cooking?" Castiel asked. Accepting the juice and drinking.

"Not very often. I'm not here a lot of the time." Dean looked embarrassed at this, upset that he couldn't be there for his brother more.

Castiel glanced around the rooms, seeing three doors leading off the living room.

"Do I get to see your room this time?" Castiel asked.

Dean's eyes darkened. "Yeah, sure." He took Castiel's drink from him and set it on the counter before taking his hand and leading him to the door closest to the TV.

Dean's room was also painted the same white as the living room and kitchen. There was a single bed with plain white sheets and a chest of drawers that Dean had also been using as a desk. School papers covered it and a chair that might have matched one of the ones in the kitchen, was sitting beside it.

Dean dropped himself onto the bed and patted the space beside him. Castiel sat down. The mattress was a just little too soft.

They sat in silence for some minutes. Dean turned his head to look at Castiel.

"Cas." Dean said.

Castiel looked at Dean. Dean's face was very close to his. His eyes were dark and one of his hands reached up to wrap around the back of Castiel's neck.

Castiel knew what was coming, but he still made a noise of surprise when Dean's lips finally pressed to his. Dean's mouth was soft, enveloping Castiel's bottom lip, sucking gently. Castiel leaned into him. He reached up to slide his fingers into Dean's hair, while the other hand grabbed hold of Dean's muscular upper arm. Squeezing tightly as his tongue snaked out, he wouldn't have been surprised if he was leaving a hand shaped bruise on Dean's skin.

After a moment of long, careful kisses, Castiel pulled back. His neck hurt from the awkward position. Dean was grinning at him through swollen, red lips.

"I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw you." He said.

Castiel blinked. That was weeks ago, the beginning of November. "Really?"

"Yeah." Dean laughed. He dropped a hand to squeeze Castiel's thigh. "One look at those baby blues…"

Castiel had never thought of himself as particularly good looking, though his bright eyes were certainly his best feature, and luckily he had not inherited his mother's rather hooked nose. His eldest brothers, Michael and Lucifer, were far better looking than he was and Anna was most certainly a very pretty girl. Gabriel liked to laugh that the looks had run out when it came to himself and Castiel. Which Castiel thought was unfair, both to Gabriel and himself. He did not believe that he and Gabriel were ugly, but certainly he had thought it unlikely that someone as attractive as Dean would look twice at him.

"But, you kept winking at the girls." Castiel replied.

Dean sighed. "Yeah… When you're always the new kid… It's better if you're not too… Different."

"I understand." Castiel nodded. It must have been difficult for both Dean and Sam to have been constantly moving around, meeting new people, attempting to fit in.

"And… I thought you weren't… Y'know." Dean shrugged.

Castiel smiled. "So… As soon as you met me?" He teased, pleased about that.

"As soon as I saw you." Dean corrected. "And then I heard you… Shit."

"Heard me?" Castiel looked at him, confused.

"Your voice!" Dean exclaimed, pressing a quick kiss to Castiel's mouth. "It gives me shivers." He smirked.

Castiel blinked, surprised. He had never been fond of his own voice. It had always made him sound so much older, like a 90 year old man.

"You sound good too." Castiel said. Leaning forward for another kiss from Dean's warm mouth.

#

Castiel joined in the 'fa-la-la-la-la's' of the carol's chorus as he and his family walked down the street towards Bellevue. Michael and Anna began it, striding with purpose arm in arm out of the house. Gabriel joined in, singing loudly in Lucifer's ear. His mother called Michael to slow down so she could link up with him too, treading carefully so as not to slip on the packed snow and ice. Castiel hung back to walk with his father.

"How's everything going?" Joe asked. "With you and Dean?"

"Good." Castiel answered, as embarrassed as ever to be discussing it with his father. Usually he was perfectly happy to discuss anything with him, but Dean was different. Dean was… Special.

"I'm glad." Joe nodded, understanding. He had always been more in tune with his two youngest sons than the elders.

He and Gabriel were very alike and, despite that, always got along well - where Kathy and Lucifer were very alike and had always butted heads because of it. Castiel was his youngest and, as much as he hated to admit it, he had been around for more of Castiel's childhood than he had with the others. He had worked hard for years, building businesses from the ground up and it was only within Castiel's lifetime that he had been able to take more of a backseat, work from home, put in less hours. He understood Castiel because he been able to watch as Castiel grew day by day, rather than a couple of hours here and there, as with his eldest children. He regretted not being around more for the others, but it was because he had not seen them so often that he was able to send to send them to such good colleges.

On Christmas evening, for at least the past ten years, Joe had been throwing a party for his friends and employees and their families at the Bellevue restaurant. It was less of a party really, more of a gathering. A Merry Christmas to everyone Joe knew. A way for those who were alone at Christmas to get together and celebrate, to not be alone.

"'Tis the season to be jolly!" Michael, Anna and Gabriel sang loudly as they entered the restaurant.

"Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la!" The restaurant sang back.

Castiel shook his head and pushed past his siblings to get into the warm.

"Oi! Bobby!" He heard his father call over his head.

Castiel danced between people until someone snagged the sleeve of his jacket.

"Hey, Castiel." Jo Harvelle grinned and pulled him into a bone shattering hug.

"Hi, Jo." Castiel squeezed out, patting her on the back. "Good Christmas?"

"Pretty good." She smiled. She glanced left and then right, as if expecting someone to be listening to them. "Do you know that new guy? The one that works for Bobby? He's soooo hot." She smirked and wiggled her eyebrows.

"New guy?" It took Castiel a surprising amount of time to realise who Jo was talking about. "You mean Dean?"

"Is that his name?" Jo asked, eagerly.

"Yes. Though I should say-" Castiel's words were cut off when Dean himself appeared.

He was dressed in his heavy denim jacket, though he had opened it in the warm restaurant, his cheeks were pink from the cold and then the heat and he was grinning at Castiel. Sam was beside him, one hand held the book his nose was buried in, while the other held a cup of eggnog.

"Hey, Cas." Dean moved to stand beside him.

"Hi, Dean, isn't it? I'm Jo." Jo surged forward, eyes glittering, shoving Castiel not so subtly out of the way.

"Nice to meet you." Dean nodded and looked down at Sam. "Aren't you going to say 'hi'?" Dean clipped the back of his brother's head.

"Ow! Dean." Sam complained, then, upon noticing the many other people in the room said; "Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Sam." Castiel smiled. "What is your book about?"

"North American folklore!" Sam almost sang. "Dean got me it. He got me a whole pile of others too."

"I must be nuts, I won't see his face for weeks. But, maybe that's a good thing." Dean laughed and Sam scowled at him. "How was your Christmas day?"

"Good." Castiel smiled. "It's not over yet." He had a small package in his pocket for Dean; he was planning to give it to Dean later. When it was quieter.

"Oh my god." Jo suddenly said. "You two are together!"

"So?" Dean said.

"Nothing, I guess." She smiled and shrugged and walked off… Towards Gabriel. Castiel vowed to keep one eye on them at all times.

"Weird." Sam said and returned swiftly to his folklore.

"How did your cooking go?" Castiel asked. Dean had been planning on making himself and Sam a small Christmas dinner. Kathy had invited them to their house, but Dean had decided he and Sam were going to have a proper Christmas – just the two of them. Before they had always had very little money and usually spent Christmas in some cheap motel room.

"Not too bad." Dean laughed. "I never realised you could burn potatoes before today though."

"All the water boiled away." Sam added. Juggling his eggnog to turn a page of his book.

"Tasted all right. Put in shit loads of butter." Dean said. He took hold of Sam's shoulder and steered him towards a nearby table and pressed him into a chair. He pulled out a chair for Castiel, smirking at his own chivalry.

Castiel gave him a look, but sat down. Dean took the seat between them.

"What about you? Have fun with your many, many siblings?" Dean smiled.

"Yes. It's nice. I like it when everyone's home. Even if they gang up on me sometimes." Castiel said. Remembering all the teasing he'd endured about Dean. It was only fun teasing though, never hurtful. Not even Lucifer, who didn't seem to like Dean very much, would ever say anything to hurt him.

Dean grinned.

"Happy Christmas, Castiel!" Bobby weaved his way towards the table.

"Merry Christmas, Bobby." Castiel stood up, accepting another tight hug.

Bobby then moved on to Dean, "You've already hugged me, Bobby." Dean said.

Sam gave a shout of surprised, so absorbed in his book he hadn't noticed Bobby, when Bobby hugged his head.

Castiel suspected that Bobby'd had a little too much eggnog. He weaved away again a moment later.

Dean shook his head, smiling and reached over the table to wrap one of his hands over Castiel's.

"I have something for you." Castiel said. "For Christmas." He reached into his pocket and placed a small package, wrapped in green and red Christmas paper, on the table in front of Dean.

Dean looked down at it. He seemed very surprised. "I-I… I didn't get you-"

"Doesn't matter, it's just a small thing. My Aunt Susan makes them. But, I was quite specific about what it should look like." Castiel said. "Open it."

Dean pealed the away the paper more carefully than Castiel had been expecting. Dean was generally very rough with most things. It was just the way he was, the way Castiel liked him. Underneath the paper was a small box.

"It's not an engagement ring is it?" Dean smirked.

"No." Castiel said.

Inside the box was a leather bracelet. It was fairly thick, tied in the middle was a green stone that had been polished shiny. Carved onto its face, curved and shaped, was a tall angel with long, trailing wings. On the back of the stone Dean's name was carved in curled script. It was more telling of the person who had given it to him, than of Dean himself. If Dean had carved it, it would have been far more simplistic than what Castiel had designed with his Aunt.

The Angel hadn't exactly been his idea. He had thought at first to put a car on there or something, but his Aunt had managed to persuade him to the Angel. He had quite liked it, but now he was unsure.

Dean looked up at him. Castiel felt his face burn a little in embarrassment.

"I just thought…" He murmured.

"It's gorgeous, Cas." Dean said. He held his wrist and the bracelet out to Castiel. Castiel fastened it quickly, tying it loose. "This the Angel you're named after?"

"I don't know. I guess it could be." Castiel said. Pleased and less embarrassed now that he knew Dean liked it. "Castiel is the Angel of Thursday."

"Really? You said the Angel you were named after was peripheral." Dean said, finally pulling his stare from the bracelet to look at Castiel.

"Well, he is. Not like Michael, or Lucifer, or Gabriel." Castiel shrugged.

"Thank you." Dean said. He leaned towards Castiel and kissed him quickly on the mouth.

Castiel heard a click and a giggle and even with his eyes closed, he saw the flash. He whipped around, spotting Jo and Gabriel disappearing into the crowd. He'd only taken his eyes off them for a minute!

"Damn it." Castiel said.

"I'll fix it." Dean got up and strode off. He'd had quite a bit of experience with Gabriel in the past few weeks and had learned how best to threaten him.

Castiel smiled at Dean's back.

"You two almost make me sick." Sam said, looking at Castiel as he took another sip of eggnog.

"Read your book, Sam." Castiel said.


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.

Part 2: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, favourites and alerts! Sorry I haven't replied, but I was so busy with Uni work – now it's all over though until October!

Thanks especially to leafgirl-88 who pointed out some English-American mistakes, I hadn't quite realised how much Englishness I shoved into this story! And Nathalie Andrews who took the time to point out all her favourite bits and I love it when people do that.

This does get rather toothache-y towards the end, but this was always about two boys that fall in love and maybe grow a little along the way.

Again I am English – just a warning.

###

Castiel stumbled slightly on the bottom stair and kicked Gabriel's shoes out of the way as he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Cas?"

"Hello, Dean." Castiel replied, Dean sounded to be in a happy mood and it immediately made Castiel smile. Dean in any mood tended to make Castile smile.

"Hi, you want to come over for movies later? It's New Year's Eve-Eve and I have the night off."

Castiel could hear Dean's grin and possibly a wink, but he wasn't completely sure.

"Sure. Do you want me to bring anything?" Castiel always went for cool chips, though he wasn't entirely sure how 'cool' could be a flavour.

"Relax, I have your awesome chips." Dean laughed. "Just get over here."

"OK. I won't be long." Castiel said always eager to be in Dean's presence. He put down the phone and jogged upstairs to turn off his old laptop. "Gabriel, I'm going out." Gabriel was the only other person in the house; his parents still had to work between the holidays.

"What?" Gabriel called back the door of his room was shut.

"I'm going out!" Castiel shouted again, pulling on the Christmas jumper his Grandmother had given him, this year it featured a large white snowflake on a dark blue background.

"What?"

Castiel sighed and banged on Gabriel's door as he passed, "I'm going -" The door opened under his hand.

"I heard." Gabriel grinned at him.

Castiel rolled his eyes. Gabriel had been spending every moment he was not at work locked in his room since Christmas. It was odd to say the least. Castiel had almost missed his constant teasing about Dean.

"Going to get some sugar from the boyfriend?" Almost missed it.

"I'm going out." Castiel repeated. "I'll be back late probably."

"Sure." Gabriel said, glancing back over his shoulder into his room.

"What's so fascinating in there?" Castiel asked, attempting to peek over Gabriel's head.

"Never you mind." Gabriel shut the door in Castiel's face.

"If you're keeping someone prisoner I'm calling the police." Castiel said, jogging down the stairs and grabbing his outerwear, pulling on his hefty winter boots.

The snow had been periodically melting during the winter sun of the day and freezing again at night causing a polished glass effect all over the pavements. Castiel walked gingerly as he made his way to Dean's house, occasionally hanging on to fences and bushes so as not fall on his bony ass. Dignity be damned, he wanted an intact butt.

Dean greeted him with a grin and a kiss.

"Sam won't be back 'till late." Dean said, hanging up Castiel's coat. He turned around and smirked. "You look so hot in that sweater."

"It does keep me warm." Castiel smiled and they walked into the kitchen.

Dean was still grinning as he poured them both glasses of cheap knockoff cola, but there was something off about him. Something Castiel could see in the lines of his shoulders under his rather ragged green shirt, the muscles tight and unhappy even though Dean's smile was still in place.

Castiel thought that Dean had become too good an actor over the years of blending in at new schools. It was only because he'd been getting to know Dean better that he could tell when something was wrong, even when Dean didn't want him to know.

"Has something happened?" Castiel's thoughts immediately went to the idea that someone had found out about Dean and Sam's father not being at home and had reported them to the authorities.

Dean sighed, slumping over the kitchen counter. "Sam and me got into an argument."

Castiel let out his breath and was pleased that it had nothing to do with Social Services, but to Dean arguing with Sam was as bad as losing him.

"What did you fight about?" For Castiel arguing with his siblings, particularly Gabriel, was a fairly regular occurrence. It was inevitable with having several brothers and sisters who were all quite close in age, despite the fact that they were older now and supposedly more mature.

For Dean it was different. Especially now that Sam was all he had.

He had told Castiel that his father and Sam had argued nearly constantly as Sam had become a teenager. Dean had often felt less like a member of the family and more like a referee. He hated to argue with Sam, because he was afraid of losing him too. He was sure that once Sam was old enough he would leave and Dean would be alone.

Though Dean had never specifically told him this, Castiel had still heard it.

"I don't know. Something stupid." Dean said.

Castiel shifted closer and wrapped one arm around Dean's torso from behind. Dean had done this to him just a couple of days before, after a blow-out between Lucifer and his mother. Castiel had been upset and Dean had held him for a moment in this way, he felt it would be appropriate for him to reciprocate now because Dean was upset too.

Castiel's social skills were still poor, but he was learning.

Dean leaned back a little against Castiel. "He doesn't realise all that I do. How little we're surviving on." He sighed. "He keeps asking for things and I can't give him them. He needs money for a school trip, or something. He doesn't realise how hard I work. I don't know. He does sometimes and not others."

"He's fourteen." Castiel replied. His hand rested over Dean's chest, Dean's pendant caught between his fingers.

"I know." Dean said.

"I think you should talk to him more." Castiel said. He turned his face into Dean's neck. Dean always smelled a little like the auto shop he worked at and like the cheap deodorant he used, the scents somehow blended together to make a smell that was uniquely Dean and very enjoyable.

"He doesn't need to know my problems, Cas. He has enough of his own." Dean said, one of his rough hands playing with the sleeve of Castiel's Christmas jumper.

"If you want him to appreciate how hard you work, then you have to tell him how hard you work." Castiel replied, he thought that this made complete sense. But, Dean often looked at things in a way that didn't make any sense at all, not to Castiel at least.

Dean just hummed and turned his head to press a kiss to Castiel's mouth. "Shall we watch the movie now?" He asked.

Castiel knew that Dean was purposefully changing the subject.

"Sure." Castiel moved to let Dean go.

Dean handed him a glass of cola and they walked across into the living room. Dean and Sam had been given an ancient VHS player and a stack of old movies by their equally ancient next door neighbour. Dean shoved in Clash of the Titans and pressed himself close to Castiel on the sofa.

Dean had professed to love this movie, but he didn't spend much time watching it. Mostly he seemed to prefer pressing his tongue into Castiel's mouth. Though, Castiel was pretty happy about that too.

Castiel pulled back from Dean's lips. "Dean, you're pushing me." He said.

"I know." Dean smiled. "I'm trying to get you to lie back."

"Oh." Castiel returned Dean's smile and lay back against the arm of the couch, embarrassed at his lack of knowledge.

Dean paused, looking down at him for a moment green eyes bright, then grinned. Castiel had never been looked at like that before; like he meant something, at least to someone outside his family.

Castiel pulled at the collar of Dean's t-shirt, an instant return to the kissing seemed very important at that moment. Dean gave a groan of surprise that made Castiel smile and he gasped in shock when Dean's cold, rough hand suddenly made its way under Castiel's jumper. Curious fingers stroked over Castiel's skin, his flat belly and prominent hipbones. Castiel, now aware that skin contact would be welcome, reached over Dean's shoulder and tugged up his shirt and t-shirt to get to Dean's smooth muscular back.

Dean was grinning now and Castiel was mostly kissing his teeth.

"What?" He finally asked, pulling back a little, though his hands continued to explore the lines and bones of Dean's spine.

Dean was warm and solid above him. His amulet rested on Castiel's chest, his right arm was beside Castiel's head, the shirt sleeve brushing Castiel's temple and cheek. It was worn and soft.

"I'm just… Happy I guess." Dean smiled and dipped his head, but before their lips met, the front door slammed open.

"What the-" Dean lifted his head. "Sam? I thought you were going to be out until late?" He reluctantly moved off from over Castiel and sat back against the couch as Sam came into better view.

Castiel pulled down his sweater and Dean straightened his shirts. Castiel had to admit that he was annoyed at the interruption. He wanted time alone with Dean. He wanted to be close to Dean. He wanted Dean all to himself. Selfish as it sounded. He wanted a moment with Dean when neither of them had to think of any responsibilities, where nothing outside the two of them existed. He wanted more skin and fewer clothes.

"I felt like coming home." Sam shrugged.

Dean sighed.

There was clearly a lot of tension between them and Sam barely looked at Dean. There was remorse there, but also anger, also upset.

"Great." Dean said. "Have you eaten?" He asked, even through his annoyance Dean managed to be concerned about his little brother.

Castiel dipped his head to chest and smiled. It was typical Dean.

"Yeah. I had pizza at Leon's house." Sam said. "Good pizza." He added harshly.

"Sam." Dean said. He sounded angry, but there was pain his tone at this sudden turn in Sam's attitude. It certainly hadn't been like this at Christmas. He stood up.

Castiel felt the change in the air. Sam looked at Dean in challenge – asking for an argument. Castiel reached up and grabbed Dean's arm.

"Don't, Dean." Castiel said. Another argument with Sam would not make things better for either of them. Castiel had been in enough fights with his own siblings to know.

Sam sneered and stomped into his room.

"Do you see that? This is what he's like lately!" Dean kicked the sofa and threw himself onto it, dropping his head into his hands. "I don't know why I bother. I don't know what to do."

"Can I talk to him?" Castiel asked, shuffling close to Dean and wrapping a hand around Dean's arm.

"Sure, if you want your head bitten off." Dean said, waving a hand towards Sam's bedroom door.

Castiel knocked a couple of times before entering without waiting for Sam's answer.

"Hello Sam." Castiel said.

Sam was sitting on his bed, his knees pulled to his chest, chin resting on top. "Hey Cas. Nice sweater."

Castiel smiled wryly. "Are you OK? Dean's upset. He doesn't know what he's done wrong." He said sitting down on the end of Sam's bed. Sam's room had the same white walls as the rest of the house, but he had a newer bed and a real desk and chair, though all were clearly second hand they were of decent quality. Castiel's suspicions about the differences in Dean's and Sam's rooms were confirmed. There were books and papers everywhere.

Castiel didn't precisely know how he was going to help the situation but Sam was so important to Dean, Castiel had to do something. Besides, he liked Sam too and hoped that Sam liked him. If Sam needed someone to talk to, Castiel could listen couldn't he?

Sam stayed silent for a long minute.

Castiel waited.

"I miss Dad. It's the Holidays, he should be here." Sam finally said. Castiel had little experience with absent parents. He was lucky enough to still have both. But, he couldn't imagine ever not loving either one, not matter what they did. "Sometimes I hate him so much, but I miss him. I can't help it."

"He is still your Dad, Sam. You can't just not love him anymore, no matter what he's done." Castiel said. He shuffled a little closer to Sam.

Sam looked up at him, his floppy brown hair covered one of his eyes, but the other was clearly filling with tears. Castiel panicked slightly, not entirely sure what he was meant to do in such a situation. In their family he was not the one people went to for comfort, he was the one they picked on when they were annoyed. He finally decided on lifting a hand and dropping it on Sam's shoulder, he squeezed.

"I'm sure Dean misses him too." Castiel said. That he was sure of.

Though Dean had said little about his father, what he had said was always admiring somehow – even though the tone was always exhausted.

"Dean doesn't talk about him and… I don't know what to say anyway. I-I just miss him." Sam shrugged, tears were falling in earnest now and his voice was hiccupping.

"Missing your Dad doesn't give you the right to be horrible to Dean. He works hard and he's doing his best." Castiel said, it sounded mean as soon as he'd said it, but Castiel had to say it because he knew Dean wouldn't.

"I know." Sam sniffled and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I just… Dunno what to do." He was only fourteen.

"Come on." Castiel took hold of Sam's hand, tugging him off the bed and out of his room. Castiel couldn't fix this, only one person could.

Dean immediately looked up from his hands and saw Sam in tears. He jumped from the couch and pulled Sam into his arms.

"I'm sorry Dean." Sam's voice was muffled against Dean's chest. "I miss Dad."

"I miss him too Sammy." Dean said, he gave a small grateful grin to Castiel over Sam's head and pulled him closer so he was standing within their tiny family unit.

Dean stroked his large hands over Sam's back and nudged his shoulder against Castiel's. Castiel would have to wait for another day to be alone with Dean.

#

Castiel poured himself a glass of wine and picked up a bottle of beer for Dean, his parents were always at their most lenient at New Year, mostly because they were drunk themselves. Dean was in the garage with Castiel's father and uncle looking at Uncle Max's old Cadillac.

Sam and Dean had seemed a little happier than they had yesterday and Castiel had assumed they'd talked some after he had gone home. Sam had definitely appeared less angry at least, though it was a problem that would never be resolved – not if their father never came home and probably not even then.

Sam was currently sitting in Kathy's office eagerly absorbing her books on pagan religions and angels.

"Pass me one, Cas." Gabriel said over Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel had found out exactly why Gabriel had been locked in his room for days: he had a boyfriend. Gabriel had been talking online and over the phone to a boy called Nate every minute of every day it seemed. At least Castiel had proof now of Gabriel's bisexuality, though he hadn't expected his brother to end up with a boy so…. Flamboyant.

Castiel didn't actually know anyone else who was gay, except Dean and, apart from the fact he liked to kiss Castiel, he was hardly gay at all. At least not in a way that was easily identified.

Castiel handed Gabriel a beer, it was almost 11pm.

"So… You like him? Nate?" Gabriel asked. He looked a little insecure. It looked odd on Gabriel's face; he was always the most confident and assured of Castiel's siblings.

"Yeah. I like him." Castiel said. Nate's forward personality had surprised Castiel at first, but Nate was funny and charming, honest and forward with his opinions. He was more than a match for Gabriel.

Gabriel looked across the room where Nate was talking to Michael and Melissa, Castiel's eyes followed. Nate had a hand on Michaels arm and the three of them were laughing at whatever he was saying.

"And at least Nate isn't overcompensatingly butch." Gabriel smirked.

"Dean isn't overcompensatingly butch." Castiel said. Though Dean was pretty butch.

"Hey Gabe." Nate entered the kitchen area and kissed Gabriel quickly on the lips.

Nate was taller than Gabriel, though that wasn't saying much, about Dean's height. His hair was a style that a lot of people had at school and jet black and he had yellow-brown eyes like Castiel had never seen before.

"Hey Cassy." Nate said.

"Don't call him that." Gabriel frowned at him. Castiel smiled at his big brother instincts.

Nate grinned at Castiel as if they were sharing a secret.

"There you are. I thought you were bringing me beer?" Dean appeared next to him, taking the beer Castiel had opened with the intention of giving Dean. "Your Uncle has an awesome car." He grinned. "Hey Nate." He kissed the corner of Castiel's mouth, comfortable in Castiel's house, with Castiel's family.

"Hi." Nate smiled. "You two are so cute."

Dean groaned. "Don't you start. I get enough from him." He jerked his head at Gabriel.

"Moi?" Gabriel looked offended.

Dean leaned back against the kitchen counter. "Sam still in your Mom's office?"

Castiel nodded.

"Little nerd." Dean said.

"Hey littlest brother and littlest brother's abnormally handsome boyfriend." Michael appeared smirking and holding both hands behind his back. Castiel tilted his head to try and see what his brother was holding.

"Y'know I'm starting to think that you want to date me." Dean said taking a long drink of his beer.

Michael grinned. "Speaking of Yearbooks…" He pulled his arms out from behind his back with a flourish. He was holding the Yearbook of Castiel's high school, last year's book – the one from Gabriel graduating year.

Castiel smiled. Gabriel had been part of last year's school production of West Side Story. He hadn't really wanted to, but he had a flair for the dramatic and he had been rather forced by his teacher and their mother.

"NO!" Gabriel shouted diving for the book and missing. "Give me that Michael!"

"Why? I think Nate would like to look at all these lovely pictures of you." Michael smiled shark-like and ran off into the living room attempting to hide behind Lucifer.

Gabriel darted out of the kitchen, intent on taking the book.

"Now I have to see this." Nate grinned and dashed off after Gabriel.

Dean laughed.

"At least they're not picking on us anymore." Castiel said. Keeping his eyes on his brothers – Michael was holding the Year Book high above his head and trying to keep Gabriel away with the other arm. He was calling to Lucifer to help.

And his mother had thought all this would stop as they got older.

"Yeah. We're yesterday's news." Dean smirked and crowded Castiel close to the kitchen counter. "So, you gonna give me a midnight kiss?" He asked.

"At midnight I will." Castiel said. "It's only 11.15." He slipped out from under Dean's arm and walked into the living room.

Gabriel had climbed on top of a living room chair and was currently in a tug-of-war with Michael over the book.

Things were changing. His life and the lives of the people around him were changing and, although some things would always stay the same, Castiel thought that this was a very good thing.

He heard Dean groan behind him and follow him into the living room.

#

Castiel sighed and sat up straight, his back creaking and clicking in protest. He'd been bent over his desk and ancient laptop since he'd come in from school. His teachers hadn't been kidding about the extra work load, he wondered how Dean was going to get it all done while he was working. He clicked to save his geography essay and quickly shut it down, the buzzing and clanking noises the computer was making were getting worse every day. He would have to find a way to convince his Dad to get him a new one before college.

"Castiel! Dinner!" His mother called up the stairs, voice echoing down the hall.

Castiel shuffled downstairs and into his seat at the table, instantly scooping rice and peas and jerk chicken onto his plate. Gabriel was working, but Anna was still home. Her vacation was longer than Michael and Lucifer's, she went to a different college.

"Have you decided what colleges you're going to visit yet, Castiel?" Anna asked. "You know my school has a great History course." She was sweet sister, but also spoilt. As the only girl of the family it was to be expected really and she delighted in bossing her brothers around.

She'd had to be tough being the middle child surrounded by brothers, but also clever enough to outwit said brothers when she needed to. Thankfully there was much less of the bossing around since she was at college a lot of the time, though she came home more often than the twins – she appeared to be incapable of doing her own washing even though Michael and Lucifer had learnt just fine.

"Mostly." Castiel replied. If he was honest he had given colleges little thought since before Christmas. With all his schoolwork he barely had time for anything, he had hardly seen Dean for a week except at school, in their little corner of the library.

"We can visit your first choices next week." Joe said. "I can take the weekend away." He always seemed able to read Castiel's mind. Castiel had known for a year what his first choices were.

"OK." Castiel said. "You don't happen to know the population of Papua New Guinea do you?"

#

Castiel heaved an armful of books onto the table beside Dean and slumped into the seat next to him. Only Dean was occupying the table, though the library was unusually full of seniors. Clearly many of Castiel's fellow students had decided it was time to start putting some work in.

"Hey Cas." Dean looked up from his work to smile at him. He was wearing what Castiel recognised as one of Lucifer's old black jumpers. The snow was still hanging around some and the weather was still bitingly cold. "Do you really need all these books?"

"Hello Dean. And yes." Castiel sighed. His History and English assignments, the third for each in two weeks, required rather too much reading Castiel thought. Even in his dreams he was turning pages and swimming through pools of letters and words. It was odd that he deemed these two subjects the most important when looking at universities. "What work is that?" Castiel asked, nodding at the papers Dean was scribbling on.

"It's not school work." Dean said, pushing the forms towards Castiel. "They're the forms to become Sam's legal guardian. Ten days to my birthday, I want to hand these babies in right away."

"That's a good idea." Castiel looked at the forms that required character witnesses. "I'm sure my Dad and Bobby would be happy to fill these in." He said. Both had nothing but good things to say about Dean.

"Not you?" Dean asked.

"I'm not eighteen until May." Castiel said, separating the History books from the English, then sorting them into suspected usefulness.

"They have to do a home visit." Dean said after a moment of watching Castiel curiously. His tone said he wasn't looking forward to that.

"So? The house looks great." Castiel smiled encouragingly. Castiel had always thought that it felt like a home and he couldn't believe how they kept the place so clean.

Dean just nodded. Castiel thought he was worried over nothing. No one in their right mind would refuse to make Dean Sam's guardian after seeing how well Dean took care of him. Better than some parents would, better than their father had.

"Stop worrying." Castiel said. He shifted his chair a little closer to Dean, as close as he could while still in school, and squeezed Dean's knee, feeling the heat of Dean's skin through the hole in his jeans. Dean smiled at him and nodded.

Castiel wanted Dean to always smile. He had a set of smiles he reserved just for Sam, but Castiel was beginning to think that there might a set just for him now too. Now that Dean was more himself around Castiel. There were few questions about which Dean Castiel might speak to these days, he seemed more comfortable in himself.

Castiel turned back to his books, leaving his hand where it was while he read.

#

Castiel returned to the library after school and Sam joined him while Dean went to work.

Castiel and Sam worked in silence for a little while, each absorbed in their own assignments. Sam and Castiel were becoming friends in their own right, where before what had connected the two of them had been Dean. Castiel was pleased about this because he liked Sam.

"Hey Cas, it's Dean's birthday soon." Sam said.

"I know." Castiel replied, not looking up from his English essay. "I'm not sure what to get him. Do you have any suggestions?" Though Castiel knew the only thing Dean really wanted was to legally become Sam's guardian.

"Well yeah, that's the thing, I need your help." Sam said. "And maybe your Dad's help too."

Castiel looked up at that. Sam clearly had a good idea for a present. He was very excited about it, wiggling a little in his chair, hazel eyes glinting. He seemed very like Dean in that moment.

"Of course, if we can." Castiel replied.

"See… Dean really wants this particular car." Sam was about to continue but Castiel interrupted.

"A 1967 Chevy Impala." Castiel said, remembering almost the same level of excitement on Dean's face as on Sam's when he had described the car to him.

"Yeah, one of those." Sam said, surprised but pleased that Castiel knew. "I was thinking if we could find one, even it was poor shape it would be Dean's and he could fix up!" He grinned, clearly pleased with himself for coming up with the idea.

Castiel nodded, it was a good idea. "I'll ask my Dad about it. Maybe Bobby could help too."

Sam's grin widened further, he did not seem to have the same compunctions about asking for help that Dean had.

Castiel tapped his pen against his teeth. His Uncle Max had a friend who owned a salvage yard.

He bent back over his essay.

#

"He'll forgive you eventually, Cas." Joe said, thumbing through the college prospectus and frowning as he got to the costs of accommodation. Surely it hadn't cost him that much for Anna?

Castiel nodded morosely. Just the day before Castiel had accidentally 'outed' his brother. Why couldn't he just have remembered to call him Luke? Why was that so difficult? Castiel sighed. He hadn't meant to do it. He was sure that all Lucifer's friends and teammates – the whole student population probably – now knew that the star of their football team was not called Luke, but Lucifer. That he was named for the Devil.

Castiel was lucky that Lucifer had not punched his lights out. His brother was not one to let go of things easily and he knew it would be some time before Lucifer forgave him. If he ever did.

"He's leaving college soon anyway Cas. He shouldn't have kept it a bloody secret for so long." Joe said. He wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders in comfort and sighed, steering his son towards a bench. Castiel sat down.

"Why did Mom name him Lucifer anyway? Couldn't you have stopped her?" Castiel said. He was fond of his own name, but he understood how Lucifer probably wouldn't be. He had been known as Satan of the Football Pitch at high school.

"Are you joking? When have I ever been able to stop your mother doing anything once she's decided something?" Joe laughed and then fell silent.

Castiel nodded, it was true. Lucifer had inherited her hard-headedness and her ability to hold a grudge. He sighed, resigning himself to perhaps never speaking to his elder brother again.

Joe sniffed and Castiel looked at his Dad. He never really thought about how old his father was. How much he did for them all. How much he loved Castiel. How Dean didn't have that any more – if he ever had.

"Dad?" Castiel asked after a moment of silence. "You OK?"

"Yeah." Joe sighed. "I just can't believe you're going to college already." His unusual accent flattening out his vowels. "I'll miss you. It'll just be me and your Mam and Gabriel at home."

"Sorry. I don't mean to leave you alone with them." Castiel smiled.

"I'll survive somehow." Joe grinned. "You don't even want to go to this university, do you?" He gestured to the building they were sitting in front of. "You're going to go to Michael and Lucifer's college, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Sorry, Dad." Castiel said. Their college had good courses for English and History, it was close to home without being too close and Castiel had heard so many good things about the place from his brothers.

"I suppose Lucifer didn't get chance to tell you that he's been spotted by a scout." Joe said, pride infusing every word.

"Really? That's brilliant!" Castiel grinned, though he quickly realised that his mother would be deeply unhappy.

"Yeah, it is. And Michael's going to put in to study his Master's course at the college. So, he'll still be around if you need him." Joe sighed as he realised all his children were grown now. "Anna's doing well and I'm thinking of making Gabriel assistant manager of Bellevue. He's been great there, learning quickly and coming up with good ideas." Joe's eyes stared at the building in front. Clearly he was elsewhere, thinking of other things.

Castiel smiled a little, he had always been acutely aware that he was youngest. But, he had never realised what that meant for the rest of his family. He had been sheltered, particularly by a father and elder brothers who loved him and had known he was different since he was small. Even Gabriel, funny but not at all tough Gabriel, had once punched a boy in the face who had accused Castiel of 'looking' at him in the locker room.

Castiel was who he was because of their protection. It was odd, now that he thought about it. He had been moulded by his brothers, sometimes by only their legacy. Sure, there were some things that maybe he would've done differently. Perhaps he might've been more forward, or maybe he would have had more friends, but he wouldn't change anything. His brothers loved him. They loved him for who he was.

"Y'know, you didn't cry when you were born." Joe suddenly said. He wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders and tugged him close. "You just lay there, looking at your mother with those big blues. You didn't even blink."

Castiel looked at his father. He had inherited his blues eyes from him.

"Your mother actually asked the nurse if you were alive, she was so worried at your silence. Your brothers and Anna had screamed the house down, but not you." Joe smiled. Castiel had never heard this story before. "You were quiet. You were… Thoughtful. Always thinking… My little Castiel. Not little anymore though, eh?"

"Dad." Castiel said. He had been so concentrating on his own thoughts and feelings about going to college, and indeed about Dean, that he hadn't really thought about his parents.

His was right, Castiel wasn't little anymore. He was different now. He didn't… Want the protection of his father and brothers anymore. He loved them and he was grateful for all they had done for him, but he was no longer a little boy. He wasn't little Castiel and he didn't want to be.

"Come on. Let's go home." Joe stood.

Castiel followed suit and they walked back to the car.

#

Castiel sighed throwing down his pencil, giving up on his trigonometry homework. Lucifer still wasn't talking to him so Castiel couldn't call him for help. He didn't really blame Lucifer, he had spilled a very well-kept secret after all.

Castiel sighed again. He closed his math book and clambered off the bed deciding he would go back to it later. Perhaps it was time that he stopped asking Lucifer for help.

"Dad?" Castiel knocked on the door to his father's office and took a step inside.

Joe held up a finger, he was on the phone. "Yeah…. That's brilliant… I'll send Bobby for it on Thursday, that OK?... Yeah… Cheers Lloyd!"

Castiel entered the room fully.

"Guess what I just found?" Joe grinned, putting the phone down.

Castiel shook his head and raised an eyebrow in question. "What?"

"A 1967 Chevy Impala." Joe smiled smugly. "It's in good condition too. Well… the engine is at least."

Castiel grinned too. "You're brilliant." Dean was going to be so pleased. So was Sam.

"I am known for my brilliance." Joe said. "Won't cost anything either, Lloyd owes me a few favours."

"Really? Thanks, Dad!" Castiel couldn't wait to see Dean's face when he saw the car.

"Well, he's a good lad. And I know how much you like him." Joe said. "You seem different these days, happier… With him."

"I am." Castiel said. "Can you bring it to Bobby's? Dean doesn't have a driveway at his house."

"Of course." Joe nodded and winked up at his son.

#

It was Thursday. Castiel and Sam had been to see the Impala that was currently sitting in the old shed at Bobby's shop. It certainly needed a lot of work, but he got the feeling that Dean wouldn't mind that. That if he fixed it all up then it would truly be his car.

He was sitting in his room, trying to read a book for English lit, but he couldn't pull his thoughts from Dean. Dean and his soft lips and his hot skin, his worn clothes and the hard muscles beneath them. Dean and his unique smell, his wide smiles, but still somewhat shuttered green eyes and his too soft bed. Dean's birthday was Saturday.

Castiel heard the front door open and slam closed and then the voices of Gabriel and Nate playfully arguing downstairs.

Castiel bit his lip and then hopped off his bed, he got to the bottom stair and paused. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He didn't want to give Gabriel more fuel to tease him with, but he was so unsure about this stuff.

Nate's unusual yellow-brown eyes immediately landed on him as he entered the kitchen. He was wearing a key on a chain around his neck.

"Hey Cassy." Nate said. Gabriel turned to look at Nate from where he was filling the coffee pot and frowned.

"Don't call him that." Gabriel said.

Castiel smiled.

"Aww, ever the big brother." Nate grinned and leaned down a little to kiss Gabriel's cheek. He narrowed his eyes when he looked back at Castiel. "You OK? You look a little flushed."

"I need to ask you something." Castiel said nodding towards the dining room door.

Castiel stepped into the dining room and Nate followed closing the door almost all the way behind himself.

"Don't be long!" Gabriel called.

Castiel took a deep breath. He looked at the floor, then at the word 'LUSH' in yellow stitching on Nate's work uniform, and finally Nate's soft, wide mouth. "Dean and I..." He started, unsure of what he wanted to ask, of what he even wanted from Dean except more.

Nate raised an eyebrow. "You and Dean getting a little excited, huh?" Castiel had got to know Nate a little better, Nate was always at the house and Castiel had come to like his outlandish personality. Like Castiel he had never, and could not, pretend to be anything other than who he was.

"Yes." Castiel said.

Nate grinned and nodded, he reached out and squeezed Castiel's arm. "Just… Do what feels good. What you're ready for. Not that Dean would ever push you into anything." He snorted and shook his head. "Boy practically worships you."

Castiel flushed. The feeling was mutual.

#

"Wait." Castiel grabbed Dean's leather clad arm before he got into the car. "You need to put this on." He held up a length of black cloth.

"In front of your Dad, Cas? That's too kinky even for me." Dean grinned. Behind him Joe laughed. Castiel secretly thought that his father and Dean got along too well.

Castiel moved to wrap the cloth around Dean's head a little more roughly than he needed to as punishment.

"Ow!" Dean grunted. "I need those eyes." He winced when Castiel tied it tight to prevent peeking.

"Do you want your present or not, jerk?" Sam shoved Dean into the back of the car.

"Shouldn't you both be a little nicer to me? It is my birthday." Dean complained, shifting to sit comfortably and raising a hand to touch the blindfold.

"No peeking." Sam smacked Dean's hand away though he was grinning widely.

Dean pouted.

Castiel got into the passenger seat of the car. He was deeply excited about Dean's birthday present.

Castiel's talk with Nate had been only mildly embarrassing when compared to the conversation he'd had with Sam just that morning. Though Castiel had not actually said the words 'you need to go out because I want to touch your brother all over', that had been the basic gist of the conversation. Thankfully, though Sam had certainly not wanted to ever hear about his brother's sex life, he'd got the idea and had made arrangements to stay at his friend Leon's house that night.

"We're here." Sam said. He took hold of his brother's wrist and carefully guided him out of the car, making sure he didn't bump his head.

"Can I take this off yet?" Dean asked grumpily.

"Not yet." Castiel took his other hand and led him forwards, around the back of the main auto shop at Bobby's garage to the old shed at the back.

Several of the other employees, including Bobby, followed behind them. All of them liked Dean a lot, and though they didn't know every detail of his situation they knew enough to know that he was the only family Sam had and that he worked hard.

The Impala was parked outside the old shed, to Castiel's eyes it seemed a pretty poor present. The car was a dull, very faded black, covered with dents, with only half its windows and the interiors torn to shreds. But, he knew Dean would love it.

Sam placed Dean precisely where he could see the car from the best angle – the side with the least dents and with windows still intact.

"Ready?" Sam asked, grinning. He was practically hopping with excitement himself.

"Yes. Get this damn blindfold off me!" Dean said, reaching up.

Castiel untied the cloth and quickly whipped it away. He held his breath waiting for Dean's reaction. He felt everyone else on the yard do the same.

Dean blinked for a moment in the winter sunlight. Then he looked at the car for a long moment, as if he couldn't quite believe it was real.

"Holy Shit! Is this mine?" He finally said, turning to Castiel and Sam. His eyes brighter than Castiel had ever seen them before. A glowing, beautiful green that made Castiel's breath shorten.

"Of course!" Sam laughed.

"Happy Birthday." Castiel smiled.

Dean's grin was so wide that it had to be hurting him. He pulled Sam and Castiel into a rib shattering bear hug before bouncing over to the car.

Castiel could hear the laughter of the mechanics, Bobby and his father as Dean wrenched open the hood and the squeaky doors and began inspecting every inch of the Impala that he could now call his own.

"We rule." Sam said through his own smiling face, looking up at Castiel.

"Yeah." Castiel said.

Dean gestured to his work mates and all of them were crowded around the hood of the Impala, pointing out where work had to be done. Dean was standing in the middle of them, still radiating pure joy.

Sam nodded and jogged over to join his brother. Dean wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his knuckles over Sam's head.

Castiel grinned and felt his stomach flutter.

#

Dean grinned and closed his eyes for a moment before blowing out the candles Castiel and Sam had stuck into an apple pie.

Castiel and Sam cheered and Dean laughed taking the pie from Castiel's hands.

"So, this is my piece. What are you guys having?"

Castiel, Sam and Dean had spent the day having birthday celebrations that Dean had never had before. Of course all Dean could talk about was what he was going to do with the Impala while grinning madly all day. They'd seen a movie of Dean's choice, a fairly decent sci-fi, and eaten pizza with Dean's favourite toppings. Sam and Castiel had picked off most of them before they could deem the pizza edible. They had also thought better than to buy Dean a birthday cake and had instead gone with a birthday apple pie – which Dean seemed most pleased with.

Castiel shook his head and sat back on the sofa beside Dean. Sam threw himself onto Dean's other side and handed his brother a knife to cut the pie with.

He passed Sam his piece on a red and blue patterned plate and they ate in silence for a few moments before Sam gave a small sigh.

"I wish Dad was here for this." He said.

"Yeah." Dean said around a mouthful of apple and pastry. "Me too." He leaned into his little brother. "But, at least I've got you, Sammy." He swallowed and turned to look at Castiel, his green eyes glittering. "And Cas."

Castiel grinned back. He had felt each touch of Dean's hands, each smile, each glance, every chaste kiss so much more acutely.

"OK." Sam stood up. "I'm taking that as my cue to leave."

Dean whipped his head around to look at his brother and said in a hurt tone. "Leave? It's my birthday. You can't leave."

"I'm going to stay over at Leon's and I really don't want to talk to you about why." Sam jogged into his room and picked up his backpack. "Because I've talked about that enough for one day." He looked at Castiel. Castiel flushed. "You can thank me later." Sam pulled on his coat. "Actually, no. Don't." He amended.

"What? Sam wait." Dean stood up as Sam made his way to the door, but Castiel caught hold of Dean's wrist. "Cas?"

Castiel let go only when he heard the front door close.

"Why'd you let him go?" Dean asked, flopping back down to sit next to Castiel, a frown on his face. "I wanted us all together on my birthday." He folded his arms across his chest.

Castiel shook his head, smiling. Dean was just as smart as Castiel, but he could be so slow sometimes. "Dean." He said. "Look around. We are completely alone. Sam won't be back until tomorrow."

Dean paused for a moment and then his eyes lit up. "Well, look at that. We are alone." He grinned at Castiel, hungry and lascivious and immediately moved to kiss Castiel.

Castiel leaned backwards, taking hold of Dean's shoulders to make him follow. Though he needn't have, Dean was more than eager after all the interruptions of the past couple of weeks.

Dean's kisses always started out soft and careful, no matter how enthusiastic he was, he never pressed too hard or too fast, as if he was afraid of pushing Castiel. Just like Nate had said.

Dean tasted like apples, cinnamon, sugar, Castiel's first proper taste of Dean in days and it was sweet. Dean's rough, working fingers brushed his face and neck, tongue licking the back of Castiel's teeth and the roof of his mouth. Urgency thrummed through both of them. It was different this time because they knew there would be no interruptions – Sam would not be back until the morning.

Dean's lips were so soft, but his kisses became long and forceful, his tongue pushing and rolling against Castiel's own, his body pressing down against Castiel – holding him in place. Castiel returned his movements with vigour, pushing his hand under Dean's clothes to get to his warm smooth skin and the lines of his body. He wanted to touch Dean, so he did and gave a surprised but happy moan against Dean's tongue when he felt Dean's erection against his thigh.

Dean's hands shoved at Castiel's jumper and shirt, fingers finding the flat belly, skimming along the waistband of Castiel's pants.

Dean slowly untangled his tongue from Castiel's. "This was totally my birthday wish." He grinned.

"No it wasn't. Keeping Sam was your birthday wish." Castiel said, his hands not pausing in their exploration of Dean's skin.

"This is a very close second." Dean replied, wriggling his fingers into Castiel's pants.

Castiel licked his lips and pushed their bodies together, his hands pressing hard into the muscle of Dean's back. It felt good. So, so good. His own hard cock insistent against Dean's hip. "Can… Can we go to your room?"

Dean grinned, pressing their hips together to hear Castiel gasp. "I'm not sure it'll be more comfortable. My bed sucks." He kissed Castiel once more. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Castiel smiled back. "I had the most embarrassing conversation of my life this morning with your little brother. You think I'd do that just for some kissing?"

Dean looked at him for a long moment. Dean's breathing was hot on his cheeks, chin and lips. Dean's scent permeated his nose. Dean's body was heavy and hard against his own. Dean was everywhere and Castiel wanted more of him.

Dean kissed him again, tongue teasing for just a moment before he carefully lifted himself off Castiel, holding a hand out.

Castiel followed Dean to his room, fingers twined together. Castiel smiled and bit his swollen bottom lip.

Dean's bed was too small for the two of them really, but there was no way Castiel would have been able to get rid of his family for the night. Or even for an hour or two, there was always someone in.

"Cas?" Dean stepped as close as he could get to Castiel. The difference in their heights was only an inch or so, but still Castiel had to tilt his head to match their lips properly. Dean's fingers brushed Castiel's cheek and jaw, stroking over the shell of his ear.

"I want you." Castiel murmured against Dean's lips.

Dean pulled back, pressing their foreheads together. "I can't believe my luck." Dean laughed and ran his hands over Castiel's shoulders and down his arms, taking hold of his hands. "There has to be a catch." He said.

"There isn't." Castiel said. "I promise." He smiled. There were no nerves. The swirling of his stomach was excitement, anticipation. He felt so warm.

Dean's hands slipped out of his and the two of them separated for just a moment, enough for Dean to remove Castiel's thick blue jumper. Castiel returned the gesture, lifting Dean's long sleeved t-shirt and tossing it to one side. Dean's amulet bounced and then rested in the middle of his bare chest, the bronze almost the same colour as Dean's skin.

Castiel's hands seemed to move of their own accord, touching Dean's tanned, exposed body; the edges of the toned muscles of his stomach and chest, the dark circles of nipples that hardened under his fingers.

Dean was so warm and hard and soft.

"Cas." Dean leaned forward catching Castiel's lips. His thick fingers falling to the buttons of Castiel's shirt, he worked carefully undoing each button, opening the shirt as he went. Dean undressed Castiel as carefully as he had unwrapped the Christmas present Castiel had given him.

Dean's large, rough hands wrapped around Castiel's ribcage as he pulled their bodies close together, pressing skin to skin. The smell of Dean was so much stronger in his small hot bedroom. Castiel pressed his lips along Dean's jaw into the curve of his neck, breathing the scent of him deeply.

His heart pounded quick and heavy in his chest.

Castiel's hands gravitated to the round muscles of Dean's upper arm and the smooth contours of Dean's shoulders. His fingers finding the strength and the softness there, the two sides of Dean's personality that often sat uncomfortably side-by-side and yet so perfectly demonstrated in the lines and curves of his body.

Dean's hands pushed at the waistband of Castiel's trousers, finding the button and tugging it undone. His fingers slid to catch the zip and Castiel pushed their lower bodies together, trapping Dean's hand against his cock, he groaned low in his throat against the skin of Dean's collar.

"Dean."

"That voice." Dean moaned in reply, moving his fingers against the fabric of Castiel's pants, finally finding the zip and pulling it down.

Castiel wasn't sure how he did it, but Dean managed to shove Castiel's pants and underwear to his ankles without separating their bodies at all. Dean's worn, ripped jeans were rough against his hips and thighs and he regretfully removed his body from Dean's, taking a step back – He wanted more skin.

He felt Dean's eyes on him as he stepped out of his clothes. His face was burning, there was no denying it; he was well out of his realm of experience. But, Castiel didn't care. He wasn't scared, or nervous. This was what he wanted, this was what felt good. Castiel's skin was hot and tingling and he wanted Dean to look. There wasn't much of him to look at really. He was thin and though he didn't have muscle like Dean, he wasn't scrawny. He had good shoulders and prominent hips which he liked and hoped Dean would like too.

Dean reached out to smooth a hand over Castiel's stomach and hip, pressing his face into the side of Castiel's, practically panting in Castiel's ear. Dean's hand slid to the small of Castiel's back and over his virtually flat backside, rough fingers stroking circles on Castiel's skin.

"God, Cas."

Castiel shivered. "Take your clothes off Dean." He said.

Dean's swollen lips shone with Castiel's spit and he licked them and grinned as he tugged at his duvet, pulling it down to the bottom of the bed. He jerked his head towards it, raising an eyebrow and Castiel sat down with a smile, removing his thick winter socks before lying back against Dean's thin pillows. He took a deep breath.

"We're not going to…" Castiel said trailing off. It was hard sometimes for him to know what Dean was thinking and even if Dean was ready, Castiel wasn't quite there.

"No. Not yet." Dean smiled, his green eyes roaming over Castiel's bare flesh. "Although it's tempting."

Castiel grinned his body heating further under Dean's gaze.

Dean undressed quickly, kicking off his jeans and boxers and bending down to take off his socks and when he stood he looked the same and yet so different.

Castiel stared at him without breathing for a long moment. Out of his worn, unfashionable clothes Dean seemed so vulnerable. He was here, in front of Castiel wearing only his amulet, his bracelet and his skin, all his armour was completely gone. Dean's shoulders were broad and narrowed into a thick waist and hips and strong thighs. His face and eyes were open and so, so green and looking at Castiel. Seeing Castiel.

He was so beautiful.

Dean stepped towards the bed, moving to lay over Castiel, pressing their vastly different bodies together, their different but compatible bodies. Dean's hand pushed at Castiel's thigh, opening his legs for Dean to fit between, so every inch of them was touching.

"Dean." Castiel gasped. He had never been this close to another human being before. He had never felt so much of another person before. Everything felt so hot and he knew he was sweating, it would have felt claustrophobic if Castiel hadn't wanted to get even closer, crawl into Dean's skin if he could.

Dean's mouth tugged at Castiel's, sucking at Castiel's bottom lip and Dean reached down to the side of his bed. Castiel heard a clicking and then Dean's hand was on him, slick and cool with lotion. Castiel's hips stuttered up seeking more friction, but Dean removed his hand and instead pressed their bodies together once more, his hips rolling and finding the rhythm of their kisses.

Castiel could taste Dean's moans when they rumbled in a deep timbre through his chest and against Castiel's tongue. Castiel gripped Dean's sides, fingers digging in, seeking out the bones that were hidden beneath skin and sinew, looking for what made Dean who he was.

"Cas." Dean kissed across Castiel's neck, teeth scraping over his collarbone.

A hand reached down to grip Castiel's thigh, to pull him closer as their cocks rubbed together, trapped in the heat between their bodies.

"Cas- Castiel." Dean stuttered a moan and Castiel replied loudly. Hearing Dean's voice, low and rough with want saying his name like that. His full name.

"Say it again." Castiel dragged blunt nails up Dean's back, pulling their mouths back into line.

Dean licked over Castiel's lips and smirked a groan, pressing his hips down hard as he said, "Castiel." His voice low, his pupils blown wide, his grip on Castiel's thigh tightening. "Castiel."

They kissed once more, but lips had little to do with it, it was rough and sloppy and Castiel had to tear his mouth away completely. He was close, fingers digging into Dean's muscle, body pushing up, surrounded completely – Dean's scent, Dean's taste, Dean, Dean, Dean.

Castiel gritted his teeth and threw his head back, his climax pounded through him, leaving him breathless and shaking, the noise of his heartbeat pulsing in his ears. Dean was still above him, his hips pressed against Castiel jerkily, his face so close to Castiel's.

The thin ring of green still visible in Dean's eyes was dark, his face and chest flushed with heat and exertion, one hand still gripping Castiel's thigh while the fingers of the other were buried in Castiel's thick dark hair.

Dean let out a low groan that broke in the middle as he came undone, his hands tightened gripping Castiel's hair almost painfully as his jaw dropped wide, his eyes squeezed shut and he released between their bodies.

Dean held himself above Castiel for a long moment before dropping his full weight. He pressed his face into Castiel's neck and licked idly at the gathered moisture. Castiel slid his arms around Dean fully, his hands seeking out the curves of Dean's spine, the hollow of his back, the slope of his buttocks, his body trembling a little under Dean's.

Dean chuckled quietly. "That was fast." He said.

"I don't care." Castiel replied. His body was heavy and lazy in the aftermath of pleasure and though Dean was heavy Castiel didn't want him to move, not at that moment. Maybe not ever.

Dean nodded into Castiel's skin, fingers slowly stroking through his hair. Only the noise of their breathing could be heard for a slow minute.

"I was… Never really interested in sex, before." Castiel said his voice still lower than usual. Dean shifted onto his elbows so he could look at Castiel properly and Castiel looked up into his flushed, handsome face. "I masturbated liked most boys, but I didn't really think of anyone in particular, sometimes Johnny Depp, or maybe James Dean."

Dean smiled softly and nodded, remembering the poster of James Dean in Castiel's room.

"And I always thought I was OK, I was fine. I didn't go home and cry myself to sleep, or threaten to slit my wrists or anything like that. I was fine." Castiel raised his hand to touch Dean's face, thumb stroking over Dean's swollen lips and chin. "But, since I've met you, I'm not just fine, or OK anymore." His fingers gripped Dean's body tighter. "I'm really happy… And I exist and I know that because… You're here. With me."

Dean kissed him, slow and deep, tongues tangling for long, long moments and when Dean pulled back his smile was small but, achingly real. He took a deep breath and looked down into Castiel's blue eyes. He had dropped all his barriers, all his acting, all his pretending was gone, banished with his clothes – the armour of before.

In this moment he was not afraid of being Dean and of showing that to Castiel.

"I… I never thought I could make someone happy, just by being myself." He said.

Castiel kissed him, soft and chaste. "I'm happy, Dean." He replied.

Dean sighed as though he was relieved, as though he wasn't sure if Castiel was happy with him. But, Castiel had plenty of time to convince Dean otherwise.

Dean pulled a box of tissues out from under his bed, cleaned them both off and yanked the duvet up over both of them. Castiel watched him lazily, happily. Dean laid his head on Castiel's chest and Castiel stroked still somewhat shaky fingers through Dean's short blonde hair and over his shoulders.

"I love you, Cas." Dean said.

"I love you too." Castiel replied.

#

Castiel kicked his boots into the hall closet and pulled off his gloves. He and Dean had woken that morning wrapped around each other, Dean's face pressed into Castiel's neck, Castiel's legs tangled with Dean's.

Castiel's hand had just been slipping between Dean's thighs when Sam had slammed into the house shouting that he 'did not want to hear any noises' and that they had to stop whatever they were doing.

Castiel was still grinning though. He and Dean had washed and dressed, Castiel was wearing one of Dean's t-shirts under his jumper, and eaten some breakfast which mostly consisted of cereal and left over Birthday Pie. Castiel had to go home shortly after breakfast before his parents began to realise where he was.

Dean had kissed him lingeringly at the door. Castiel could still taste cinnamon.

He hung up his coat and wandered into the kitchen where he could hear voices, Gabriel and Michael or perhaps Lucifer. Castiel wasn't even thinking about how Lucifer probably still wasn't speaking to him because his mind was too busy reliving the night before.

"Well, look who it is." Gabriel said his eyes glittering. "You dirty stop-out."

"Morning." Castiel replied he was grinning like an idiot.

"Only just." Michael said, he was standing beside Gabriel and they shared a mischievous look.

Castiel opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice, when he turned back to his brothers they were both grinning horribly at him.

"What?" He asked warily, his own smile shrinking.

"You're not a virgin anymore." Gabriel stated. "I can tell. You're too happy."

"What?" Castiel's eyes widened and he almost dropped the carton of juice. He really hated being the youngest.

"You have brought shame upon our family Cas." Gabriel continued his face the picture of disappointed seriousness.

"We may have to kill Dean, Gabriel." Michael said with an equally serious face. "He has deflowered our beloved littlest brother."

"You two are assholes." Castiel said pouring juice into a cup, vowing to ignore them.

"Hmmm, I don't think there was full penetration Mikey. Cas seems to be walking just fine." Gabriel said.

"I hate you!" Castiel shouted as he left the room as quickly as he could. He could hear his brothers' laughter all the way up the stairs.

What the hell was wrong with his family?

Castiel closed his bedroom door and leaned back against it, grinning.

#

Epilogue

Dean sighed and stood up straight. He couldn't find anything wrong with this stupid car, it must've been some electrical bullshit he had missed, but honestly he couldn't concentrate.

Cas was coming home today.

Dean hadn't seen him for almost three weeks; Cas had been snowed under with assignments and hadn't been able to make it home. Usually Dean would see Cas at least once a week, his college wasn't too far away after all and it was easy for either of them to make the trip. Especially now Dean didn't have to fit his work around school, he could work during the week and take weekends off. There was only he and Sam to feed and clothe, though recently Sam had been eating him out of the house. Dean was almost certain, to his annoyance, that Sam was going to be taller than him.

Dean frowned and wiped his dirty hands on the tattered, but clean, cloth in his pocket. He dropped down onto the trolley and slid under the car. Stupid Mercedes.

Dean had been worried about Cas going to college. They had spent all summer together, painting and fixing up the house, eating a huge amount of ice cream and having a lot of very good sex. He had been kind of terrified that Cas would meet some smart college guy and forget that Dean loved him. But, Castiel had gone to college and called Dean every night without fail.

That wasn't to say that Cas didn't have college friends, because he did and Dean hated every single one of them – as was his right as non-college boyfriend. He especially hated Balthazar, the charming, limey douche. But so far Cas had never forgot about Dean.

Dean was very glad of that, because he honestly didn't think anyone else could look at him and see his inability to hold his family together, to stop his father from leaving and through all his acting and lies and still love him the way Cas did.

There was no one else for Dean but Cas.

It had been something of a surprise for Dean to find that Cas was kind of an animal in the sack and Dean had the scars now to prove it. Cas always wanted more, always wanted everything that Dean was and Dean was more than happy to give it.

Dean had never known that it could feel so good to be seen. His father had always told him never to show himself, that if he was to be himself he would only be providing a weakness to be exploited by others. But Cas didn't see weakness, Dean wasn't entirely sure what Cas saw in him, only that Cas seemed to like it. To love Dean. Cas had never pretended to be anything other than himself. It was kind of inspirational. Dean would never say any of this out loud of course, except to Cas in the dark of a bedroom when they were both sweaty and sated and maybe a little pleasure drunk.

And now he had the stirrings of a boner at work.

Dean's life sucked. He hadn't touched Cas in weeks, it was no wonder he was frustrated and turned on at every little thing. A hand was no replacement for a Castiel.

He reached down to push on his crotch and hoped his overalls were loose enough to hide everything.

"Thinking about me?" A gravel voice asked above him.

Dean almost smashed his head on the Mercedes' oil sump.

"Cas?" Dean pushed himself out from under the car and found himself looking up at Cas from between his legs. It was one of Dean's favourite positions.

"Hello Dean." Cas smiled and held a hand out to him.

Dean took Cas' hand and pulled himself up, immediately tugging Cas in for a kiss.

Dean's fellow mechanics wolf-whistled.

It felt so good to have Cas' lips against his again. It had been too long; Dean was not a patient man. He delved his tongue into Cas' mouth, searching for the taste of him. Tongues meeting and rolling, Cas tasted like citrus. Cas' hands moved to grip Dean's arms and shoulders like they always did. Cas was obsessed with pressing his fingers into the muscles there. Dean liked it.

"Hey!" Bobby shouted from behind them. "You wanna take that somewhere else? Idjits."

Dean grinned as he pulled back, Cas was smiling at him.

"Does that mean I can go home?" Dean called back. Cas was wearing a white shirt and dark jeans, it made his skin look pale and his eyes jump out… There were whole worlds in Cas' eyes; eyes that could see right through Dean.

"No. You can take a long lunch though." Bobby replied with a smile.

"Thanks." Dean grinned and took hold of Cas' hand. "Let's go have sex now." He said.

"Dean!" Cas laughed, but allowed Dean to lead him over to his car. It was a blue Toyota Celica that Uncle Max had given him as a graduation present, it was almost twenty years old, but a still a decent car – not as good as an Impala, but then what was?

Dean had been working on the Impala periodically and though there was still a long way to go before she was cherry, she was still a thing of beauty.

"What? I want sex. With you. Now. Let's go do it." Dean tugged Castiel's hand to make him walk faster to the car. "God, I can't wait to get you out of those clothes."

"Dean, I want you too. But, I have something to show you." Cas said.

"Well alright, but can't you show me while we make sweet, sweet love?" Dean pouted and got into the passenger seat of the car.

Cas grinned and sat down behind the steering wheel. "I think Lucifer has finally forgiven me. He sent me this." He sounded very happy at this and Dean couldn't blame him. Lucifer had held this grudge for over a year. Dean had been more than willing to kick his ass, but Lucifer was kind of big and just a little terrifying, so Dean had settled with glaring at him whenever he saw him.

Cas reached over the back of his seat and passed a squashy package into Dean's hands.

Dean opened the package and pulled out what was inside. A sheet of paper was wrapped around a football jersey.

On the paper Lucifer had written, in very girlish handwriting: 'Sorry, littlest brother. I hope you like it!'

Dean frowned in confusion and unfolded the jersey. It had Lucifer's team logo on the front and written on the back was: 'LUCIFER 666'. Dean chuckled. He still thought Lucifer was a dick, but at least he had finally taken his head out of his ass and apologised. It wasn't like Cas had outed him on purpose.

"He's number 66 on the pitch, but still. Pretty cool." Cas grinned clearly pleased this particular family hiccup was over with and they could get back to being brothers again.

Dean nodded. Cas was gorgeous when he smiled. "I guess so." He said resigning himself to having to wait for Cas' naked body.

He folded the jersey back into the packet and tossed it on the backseat while Cas started the car and backed out of the garage forecourt.

"I missed you." Dean said.

"I missed you too." Cas replied.

Dean grinned. "So. How's college, smart guy?" He asked, though if he heard the name Balthazar he was calling a screeching halt to the conversation.

"Good. Lots of assignments. Michael told me he got hardly any work in his first year, the liar." Cas sighed. "And you're just as smart as I am Dean."

"I barely graduated, Cas." Dean said and it was true. The only reason he had graduated was because Cas and Sam – Sam! – had started doing his homework for him.

"Only because you had to work." Cas said, he reached over and gripped Dean's thigh, squeezing. "You could've gone to college."

"No I couldn't." Dean said. His world was constrained to his responsibilities; he had to work, he had to look after Sam.

He was not Sam's brother anymore, for all intents and purposes he was Sam's father. It was legal and everything. He looked over at Cas and Cas glanced back at him. Cas understood this.

"But I… I wanted to." Dean admitted and he had wanted to. Maybe when Sam was grown up and at college himself, then Dean could go.

"I know." Cas said.

"If only to stop other guys stealing you away from me." Dean grinned, though it was one of his very real fears.

Cas chuckled disbelievingly. He could still be so naïve about himself sometimes.

Cas was more worldly these days, his social skills were somewhat better, he had met so many new people and done so many new things. But, Dean supposed that was what college was about. Opening the horizons high school always managed to keep so narrowed. Cas had told Dean everything and though Dean was, of course, happy for Cas and interested in all the things Cas did, he was terrified that Cas would one day leave him behind. Just as he was terrified that Cas was going to find that one of these worldly boys was a better choice than Dean the poor mechanic.

It didn't matter how many phone calls Cas made to him, or how often they saw each other, Dean knew these fears would never go away.

He had always known that Cas was too good for him.

"You have no idea how hot you are, do you?" Dean said. "You missed the turning for my place." He pointed out.

"We're not going to your place. No one's in at my house." Cas gave a twitchy smirk.

"Seriously?" Dean raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it in a bed that's actually made for two." Between Dean's bed at home and Cas' dorm bed Dean wasn't sure that they'd ever slept in a bed that was big enough for both of them.

"You'd better." Cas said. "I really missed you." The hand Cas still had resting on Dean's thigh shifted up towards his crotch, fingers pressing against the seam of his overalls.

Dean's heart rate sped up.

It seemed to take forever to get to Cas' place with the heat of Cas' hand seeping through his clothes, but finally Cas pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine.

Dean pulled off his boots in the silent hallway and grinned, wrapping an arm around Cas and pressing his crotch to Cas' ass.

"So, where is everyone?" Dean asked nonchalantly, pushing a hand under Cas' shirt to get to the pale skin of his stomach.

"Mom and Dad are working and Gabriel's with Lila." Cas replied leaning back into Dean.

"How did Gabriel end up with a girl that hot?" Dean said dropping his lips to kiss the skin the collar of Cas' shirt didn't cover.

"He's funny." Cas stated. "But, do we have to talk about Gabriel now?" He turned in Dean's hold and looked at him. Dean always felt so naked and exposed when Cas really looked at him.

Dean could never keep a secret from Cas.

"Hell, no." Dean dived in to capture Cas' permanently chapped lips. He had once convinced Cas to use some lip balm to soften them, but it hadn't felt the same afterward. He'd had to talk Cas into throwing it away again.

Dean's favourite way to kiss Cas was to rub his tongue against Cas' teeth, slide their tongues together and suck on Cas' bottom lip – doing that always made Cas shift closer to him, press their bodies together, stroke one of his big hands down Dean's back and grab his ass. Cas had a helluva grip.

"You know I love you, don't you Dean?" Cas said pulling back, but not releasing his grip on Dean's backside. "You know I've never met anyone like you." He kissed Dean quickly but firmly on the mouth. "And I don't think I ever will. You are everything I want."

Dean couldn't stop the flush that burnt his cheeks and ears, Cas always saw right through him and his insecurities. He swallowed and nodded.

"I love you." Dean said. There was so much more he wanted to say, but 'I love you' was all he could manage to get out of his throat.

Dean had never been good at vocalising what he felt but then, Cas had never minded.

Cas nodded, satisfied. He squeezed Dean's ass and then took his hand. "Come on, let's go and make sweet, sweet love." He grinned.

Dean smirked.

He was only nineteen years old, but he knew that if Cas never left him he would spend his whole life with Cas. He and Cas balanced each other out. Cas over-thought everything and Dean was rash and impulsive. Cas was logical and Dean went with his gut. Cas really liked books and Dean didn't. They were ying and yang, or something like that. Cas wasn't perfect, of course he wasn't. He was flawed; he had issues and problems just like everyone else… And he snored, like really loudly. But, fuck…

Cas was perfect for Dean.


End file.
